I hate the term minister's wife. Ok, hate's strong. Under appreciate. It conjures up images of a smiling, nodding woman in a sweater set that hits you up side the head when you get the giggles in church. Shallow and childish, I know, but I still don't like it. And if I'm introduced to someone as our youth minister's wife...um, what's your name? again.....well, protect the side of your head. Metaphorically speaking. The metaphorical side of your metaphorical head.
I guesse even after six years, I'm still uncomfortable in this sweater set. It's like I'm temporarily filling in for the girl who's supposed to be here and would do a heck of a lot better job at it. I don't want to pretend this is my dream gig. That's a lie and it leads to what I call BMWS (Bitter Minister's Wife Syndrome). That's not such an uncommon affliction. I've also seen many cases of Lost Identity-itis. Granted, that can happen to anyone, but I'm talking about the wife who's soul purpose is to make sure her husband is thriving in his ministry with freshly pressed, well coordinated suits, chuckling as he tells yet another family anectdote- with considerable poetic license. That's a role I can't fill. I'm not nice enough.
It's alot of pressure, you know. Self imposed, but still. I mean if John was, say, a baker, I wouldn't be too concerned about putting his job in jeapordy because I was late for bagel time or I wasn't on dish duty as much as I should be. I wouldn't feel like I had to bite my tongue if I questioned the prohibition of plastic bowls or really didn't like the old recipe. As a matter of fact, I found a new recipe. What do you think of that? Plus, I don't think bakers spend too many weekends away at muffin conventions.
So, am I just complaining? Maybe. I do that sometimes. But I am greatful that John works at a church that hasn't made this more challenging than I myself am making it. Alot of this is me being a little crazy and some of it is just the nature of being a part of a minister's family. And I really do believe that the only reason it's worked out this far is because John is the most real, genuine kind of guy. No smiling pretentions or cliched, winking pat answers. He is who he is and that allows our family to be who we are. I couldn't do it otherwise. Seriously.
But if he ever decided to take up baking, I wouldn't complain. That's all I'm saying.
Ang
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Kristi Popped
My big sister Kristi along with her husband Cyrus, just had their second baby. 11 minutes of grueling labor, lucky duck, and Kayla Eileen Rose was born weighing 7lbs 11 oz. and stretching 52 cm long. Her hair is blue and her eyes are brown. . .I think.
I'm a proud uncle although judging by the red tinge to my niece she seems a tad embarassed, which given what just happened, its understandable.
Enjoy!
John
Breaking Forth
"Whoo Hoo, all right, lets give Jesus a round of applause."
And. . . those are the words that kicked off Breakforth 2007. Now you all know me so you're probably waiting for the sarcasm and rest assured it will be there but before it comes just let me say that I think its pretty cool to give Jesus his props through various forms of worship, in fact I think its crucial to our faith development but the thing I've never understood is why Jesus needs a huge ovation after the BAND rocks the house. Its like the worship leader is trying so hard to make sure we're all aware that the clapping is for God, right? Well good leader, it is for God, but the way you configured that last song the clapping was inevitable so perhaps it was also for you. Which, by the way, doesn't have to be a totally bad thing but lets at least be honest. Call a spade a spade. "Man we KILLED that last song. Yeah dude. But God, now there's someone who deserves a clap or two. He made these guitars. . ." Or something like that. I just think sometimes worship leaders try so hard not to draw attention to themselves that that's exactly what happens. That being said, Robin Mark seems to be a new kind of worship leader, one that has incredible talent, writes incredible lyrics, yet in spite of those things he leads me to the throne of God each time. He ended off the Conference and it was a great note (giggle) to end on. Very powerful.
It would take to long to tell you everything so I'll just some up some of the highlights in the form of quotes.
- "If your church forces you into a role that doesn't match your call from God, you have my permission to tell them to go to hell." (Bill Easum) - Thankfullly Calgary CofC has never done that to me. Although I wish they would cause it sounds kinda fun. Just kidding everyone who reads this and might tell thus getting me fired.
- "You know you're old when your wife comes to you and say "Let's go upstairs and have sex" and you respond "I can't do both." (Tony Campolo)
- Adopted Child talking to other siblings "Mom and Dad love me more then you guys. They specifically chose me, filled out the paper work and made it happen, you on the other hand are only here because the condemn broke." (Josh McDowell telling a story about his own children. Btw - this flaming religious righty surprised me. I had already prepared myself for a legalistic rendering of all his evidence but he spoke the entire time on the importance of fathers being there for their kids. Pretty convicting actually. Although, he did put a picture up on the powerpoint of him and George W fishing then went on to brag about what a great father George is. Joshy also revealed that he writes many of his speeches. Sigh)
- I walked out on Kay Arthur. She has spunk for a 73 yr old, I gotta give her that and milions have been postively impacted by her books but her message was. . .grrrrrrr. Actually Kay, I don't think its obvious from the book of Revelation that the world is going to end soon. So no, I'm not going to coerce every single bloke I come across to "Repent cuz God's coming any day and you don't want to go to hell, DO YOU?" I think the Kingdom of God is SO much more then coersion for the sake of fire insurance but I could be wrong Kay.
Btw - I know how it sounds "I walked out in the middle of a session" but honestly it was either that or continue to sit there fidgeting, twitching, and shaking my head.
- Tony was the highlight for me. Although he is very conservative theologically he's very very progressive socially which is something I can really get behind. Plus, he's just so darn likeable and funny - even if I totally disagreed with him I'd just laugh and say "Ha Ha, that Tony, so narrowminded." Just kidding.
All in all, I had a good time and was glad I went. Would I recommend you go? Yeah, I think I would. Just bring your sense of humor.
John
And. . . those are the words that kicked off Breakforth 2007. Now you all know me so you're probably waiting for the sarcasm and rest assured it will be there but before it comes just let me say that I think its pretty cool to give Jesus his props through various forms of worship, in fact I think its crucial to our faith development but the thing I've never understood is why Jesus needs a huge ovation after the BAND rocks the house. Its like the worship leader is trying so hard to make sure we're all aware that the clapping is for God, right? Well good leader, it is for God, but the way you configured that last song the clapping was inevitable so perhaps it was also for you. Which, by the way, doesn't have to be a totally bad thing but lets at least be honest. Call a spade a spade. "Man we KILLED that last song. Yeah dude. But God, now there's someone who deserves a clap or two. He made these guitars. . ." Or something like that. I just think sometimes worship leaders try so hard not to draw attention to themselves that that's exactly what happens. That being said, Robin Mark seems to be a new kind of worship leader, one that has incredible talent, writes incredible lyrics, yet in spite of those things he leads me to the throne of God each time. He ended off the Conference and it was a great note (giggle) to end on. Very powerful.
It would take to long to tell you everything so I'll just some up some of the highlights in the form of quotes.
- "If your church forces you into a role that doesn't match your call from God, you have my permission to tell them to go to hell." (Bill Easum) - Thankfullly Calgary CofC has never done that to me. Although I wish they would cause it sounds kinda fun. Just kidding everyone who reads this and might tell thus getting me fired.
- "You know you're old when your wife comes to you and say "Let's go upstairs and have sex" and you respond "I can't do both." (Tony Campolo)
- Adopted Child talking to other siblings "Mom and Dad love me more then you guys. They specifically chose me, filled out the paper work and made it happen, you on the other hand are only here because the condemn broke." (Josh McDowell telling a story about his own children. Btw - this flaming religious righty surprised me. I had already prepared myself for a legalistic rendering of all his evidence but he spoke the entire time on the importance of fathers being there for their kids. Pretty convicting actually. Although, he did put a picture up on the powerpoint of him and George W fishing then went on to brag about what a great father George is. Joshy also revealed that he writes many of his speeches. Sigh)
- I walked out on Kay Arthur. She has spunk for a 73 yr old, I gotta give her that and milions have been postively impacted by her books but her message was. . .grrrrrrr. Actually Kay, I don't think its obvious from the book of Revelation that the world is going to end soon. So no, I'm not going to coerce every single bloke I come across to "Repent cuz God's coming any day and you don't want to go to hell, DO YOU?" I think the Kingdom of God is SO much more then coersion for the sake of fire insurance but I could be wrong Kay.
Btw - I know how it sounds "I walked out in the middle of a session" but honestly it was either that or continue to sit there fidgeting, twitching, and shaking my head.
- Tony was the highlight for me. Although he is very conservative theologically he's very very progressive socially which is something I can really get behind. Plus, he's just so darn likeable and funny - even if I totally disagreed with him I'd just laugh and say "Ha Ha, that Tony, so narrowminded." Just kidding.
All in all, I had a good time and was glad I went. Would I recommend you go? Yeah, I think I would. Just bring your sense of humor.
John
Friday, January 26, 2007
Why I Subscribe
Its Friday and I just completed my morning ritual of reading the paper only to discover yet again that the stories are the same as yesterday and the day before that and yep you guessed it, the day before that. Sure the faces and names have changed but the stories - they're the same.
I used to hate it when people said that because "they were morons" plus they never cared about the planet obviously - but after successfully subscribing to the Calgary Herald for the past 2 years I can honestly say - its all heartbreakingly the same. Selfishness, Pride, Bagdahd Bombed again, Hospital wait times, Kidnappings, Kids waking up, Stupid jokes, A man so vile that he not only murdered 49 woman but he ground them up and fed them to his pigs then sold those pigs to the general public so we could "participate" in his sick ness too. Ok, maybe that story's unique. Plus I live in Calgary so every freaking morning I'm greeted with the "5 reasons why The Flames are going to contend this year." I think that story has been printed for 18 years straight. That being said, I'm gonna keep reading. I just feel its my responsibility, as a human. As a Christian. As a guy who is supposed to make the world a better place. So I read. Full of Hope. Yet disturbed.
Speaking of disturbing hope, I'm leaving within the hour for the annual Breakforth Conference in Edmonton. The best part of the Conference is the fact that it takes place in Oiler land. Although, the flag bearing singers, fundamentalist preachers and class sessions on how to maximize your sanctuary lighting definitely come in at a close second. The Christian bands aren't bad although why do the 40 year old "rock stars" in the band insist on dressing like their 18 and singing like Nstink?
I'm going because, as with reading the paper, I think its important. Plus, this usually functions as my annual retreat with my youth leaders so its good for that. Great for that. In fact, if it wasn't for that I'd probably just stay home. That being said, I am excited for this year because Tony Campolo is there and is teaching on things that matter and are significant to the shaping of God's Kingdom. So even though Breakforth will most likely be another year of me willing myself not to run down the aisle, leap up on the stage and throttle another Christian celebrity trying to force us into HIS holy moment, I'm sure there will still be pockets of hope and goodness, enough to make me glad that another weekend away from the wife and kids wasn't spent in vain. After all, anytime 15000 Christians gather together under one roof to lift up the name of Jesus, no matter what goes on inside, its still pretty special.
And I guess that's why I still subscribe.
John
I used to hate it when people said that because "they were morons" plus they never cared about the planet obviously - but after successfully subscribing to the Calgary Herald for the past 2 years I can honestly say - its all heartbreakingly the same. Selfishness, Pride, Bagdahd Bombed again, Hospital wait times, Kidnappings, Kids waking up, Stupid jokes, A man so vile that he not only murdered 49 woman but he ground them up and fed them to his pigs then sold those pigs to the general public so we could "participate" in his sick ness too. Ok, maybe that story's unique. Plus I live in Calgary so every freaking morning I'm greeted with the "5 reasons why The Flames are going to contend this year." I think that story has been printed for 18 years straight. That being said, I'm gonna keep reading. I just feel its my responsibility, as a human. As a Christian. As a guy who is supposed to make the world a better place. So I read. Full of Hope. Yet disturbed.
Speaking of disturbing hope, I'm leaving within the hour for the annual Breakforth Conference in Edmonton. The best part of the Conference is the fact that it takes place in Oiler land. Although, the flag bearing singers, fundamentalist preachers and class sessions on how to maximize your sanctuary lighting definitely come in at a close second. The Christian bands aren't bad although why do the 40 year old "rock stars" in the band insist on dressing like their 18 and singing like Nstink?
I'm going because, as with reading the paper, I think its important. Plus, this usually functions as my annual retreat with my youth leaders so its good for that. Great for that. In fact, if it wasn't for that I'd probably just stay home. That being said, I am excited for this year because Tony Campolo is there and is teaching on things that matter and are significant to the shaping of God's Kingdom. So even though Breakforth will most likely be another year of me willing myself not to run down the aisle, leap up on the stage and throttle another Christian celebrity trying to force us into HIS holy moment, I'm sure there will still be pockets of hope and goodness, enough to make me glad that another weekend away from the wife and kids wasn't spent in vain. After all, anytime 15000 Christians gather together under one roof to lift up the name of Jesus, no matter what goes on inside, its still pretty special.
And I guess that's why I still subscribe.
John
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The Goodwin
A guy from my past has re-emerged. His hair is curly so you might think he's girly.
But he's not.
He's a Goodwin.
John
P.S. Congratulate him on his sweet Deal. (the joke will never get old Leah)
But he's not.
He's a Goodwin.
John
P.S. Congratulate him on his sweet Deal. (the joke will never get old Leah)
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
honeymooners
John and I were the recipients of the world's greatest gift- one night and one day of free babysitting. Of course you understand that we love our kids, but let me just clarify... one night and one day of free babysitting. We had our airmiles movie tickets- pretty much the only thing airmiles seem to be good for, so we went to Children of Men. Now I wish there was a way for me to express just how amazing this movie is, but I don't see any flashing, confetti spewing button on my key board, so just take my plain old word for it. Amazing movie. We hung out at Mcnally Robinson the next day, ate lunch, and spent the afternoon at the museum. Sometimes we do these things with the kids, but when it's just two adults it's a completely different experience altogether. Less Stop running! Don't break that! and more Was that a nice cool breeze that swirled by, or just my refreshed personality?
So, thanks to Darcy and Hope for the weekend- we owe you one!
AngSaturday, January 20, 2007
My Prediction
Here's my prediction.
Unless the Oilers get a defenseman that actually knows how to make a good first pass, they're finished. Now granted, they're the Oilers, so they'll fight hard down the stretch, but without that defensemen I'm afraid it just won't be enough. I hope Lowe finds that guy. Or guys. We need more then one.
Re: The Battle of Alberta. Kipper was the difference tonight. There's nothing else to say.
John
Unless the Oilers get a defenseman that actually knows how to make a good first pass, they're finished. Now granted, they're the Oilers, so they'll fight hard down the stretch, but without that defensemen I'm afraid it just won't be enough. I hope Lowe finds that guy. Or guys. We need more then one.
Re: The Battle of Alberta. Kipper was the difference tonight. There's nothing else to say.
John
Friday, January 19, 2007
It was time
Hey friends.
If you're here you know I've changed the address of our blog. I figured it was time for a change as bathroom humor is only funny for so long. Plus Go to the John? I'm not as egocentric as the title may sound. I mean, I like me, but not that much.
In other news, Jordan Butel and i went to Means last night and WOW, we stood in the front row and my ears are still ringing. It was amazing. I hadn't seen the boys for 2 years and its really a miracle how much they've improved over that time. They are the real deal. Look for their new CD in stores across the country March 6. I was a moron and forgot my camera so if you are dying to see what they look like and especially sound like - then go here.
John
If you're here you know I've changed the address of our blog. I figured it was time for a change as bathroom humor is only funny for so long. Plus Go to the John? I'm not as egocentric as the title may sound. I mean, I like me, but not that much.
In other news, Jordan Butel and i went to Means last night and WOW, we stood in the front row and my ears are still ringing. It was amazing. I hadn't seen the boys for 2 years and its really a miracle how much they've improved over that time. They are the real deal. Look for their new CD in stores across the country March 6. I was a moron and forgot my camera so if you are dying to see what they look like and especially sound like - then go here.
John
Thursday, January 18, 2007
chamois
So, I painted our walls what was supposed to be a soft tan (I know. Boring.), but to my shock and horror it looked more pukey, pea soupy, yellow- green as I painted it on. This is the great injustice of wall colour- it never turns out like you envision and then people mock you. Well, you'll be relieved to know that it has since cured to what my friend Hope calls deerskin (believe me, a definate improvement from pea soup). I prefer to call it chamois. Basically the same thing, but much more elegant. And if anybody knows John and I, they know we're elegant. Nothing but formalities at the Close residence.
What I'm trying to say is that our renos are almost done.
I've also been enjoying all the blog talk on baptism and hell. I mean, who wouldn't? I think next time we should discuss capital punishment or celebrity couples and their tiny hairless dogs. Really, I do love reading all the different view points represented, because there was a time not long ago (back when I was knee high to a grasshopper...) when these discussions would have been unthinkable. In my own experience I've found it very eye opening to look into some historical, cultural backgrounds (while trying to disengage from 200 hundred year old rhetoric taught by well meaning, unwavering Sunday school teachers). It was, and is sometimes still, very hard for me to read the Bible with fresh eyes. Without those voices saying "Well, clearly this passage is talking about salvation" or "Of course that passage is about hell, it says destruction". But I find it very encouraging that we live in a time when we are seeking truth with enough eagerness to challenge the things that have gone unchallenged for a couple centuries.
So thanks for the discussion.
Ang
What I'm trying to say is that our renos are almost done.
I've also been enjoying all the blog talk on baptism and hell. I mean, who wouldn't? I think next time we should discuss capital punishment or celebrity couples and their tiny hairless dogs. Really, I do love reading all the different view points represented, because there was a time not long ago (back when I was knee high to a grasshopper...) when these discussions would have been unthinkable. In my own experience I've found it very eye opening to look into some historical, cultural backgrounds (while trying to disengage from 200 hundred year old rhetoric taught by well meaning, unwavering Sunday school teachers). It was, and is sometimes still, very hard for me to read the Bible with fresh eyes. Without those voices saying "Well, clearly this passage is talking about salvation" or "Of course that passage is about hell, it says destruction". But I find it very encouraging that we live in a time when we are seeking truth with enough eagerness to challenge the things that have gone unchallenged for a couple centuries.
So thanks for the discussion.
Ang
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Jord's Question
So. . .my thoughtful brother in law decided to go for broke by asking a pastor "on air" what his view on baptism was. His question was and I quote "Do you think the non baptized are going to hell? i.e. Is it a salvation issue for you?" This question was posed in the comment section of my Born Again post.
My first response was not to respond but I was quickly reminded by my conscience that, that is not a response. How right she is. Yes, my conscience is a she. I've even named her Angie. Back to Jord's question.
Not responding is not good enough and responding but only dancing is even worse. I've always hated it when pastors skirt important questions and I've never wanted to be that guy so I'm not going to be.
Before you continue reading, if you haven't already read my Born again post then please scroll down and do so now. It'll save me having to repeat a bunch of stuff. So go, read.
Welcome back. Now that you're aware of my history and how I feel about it we can proceed.
As I said in my Born again post, I no longer believe baptism to be a legal transaction where we trade in our sins and are given eternal life in return. My reason for not believing this is two fold. One, I do not believe our salvation to be a legal process. And two, I feel this legal view of baptism promotes selfish Christianity. It is my believe that salvation is a daily walk, something "we work out" - as Paul says -not in a way that denies grace but in a way where in the light of that grace we take ownership of our faith recognizing that it will involve a never ending cycle of doubt, growth and movement. To claim that all one must do to be saved is be immersed under water and say "yes I believe' when prodded takes away from that process. I can't tell you how many people I know, including myself, who got baptized then proceeded to become one of the most prideful, self consumed, self righteous people to walk the face of the earth. Where's the motivation in living your life for Jesus when you're already assured of your salvation at 12 years old? After all, that is the reason to live your life like Jesus, right? Reward in the after life? Insert sarcasm here. The life of God is so vast, so deep and so wide yet we think all we need to do to be immersed into it is a tub of water and a deep breath.
Getting baptized in order to complete a faith legal transaction makes God the judge, Jesus the attorney, me the defendent and you all the witnesses. Yeah, I've seen that clever skit to. But I guess what I'm honestly wondering is - why do I have to be on trial? I don't want a relationship with the divine because his son managed to pull off a miracle in the courtroom, I want a relationship with the divine because I want a relationship with the divine. I want it because I know I'll never fully be human until I can connect with the one who made me so. I don't want God because Acts 2:38 said I had to have him in order to be saved. I don't want God because the thought of hell terrifies me. I want God for God's sake. And I want baptism to represent that!
I mentioned that getting baptized for legal reasons begets selfish Christianity. I say this because human nature tends to do things for pragmatic reasons, meaning, they'll participate if they believe it'll work out positively in the end. The central claim baptism makes is that it'll more then work out for us in the end, we'll spend forever with God in heaven. And so we take the plunge. What I wonder though is - how is that not selfish? "I'll take the plunge to avoid hell." If I were God I'd be tempted to say "Thanks, but don't bother." God wants us for relationship first. Righteousness will follow.
Jordan also asked if I thought that the non baptized will go to hell. I believe there will be people separated from God in the after life mainly because there are people separated from God already, in this life. I think we choose our eternity right now. I think our eternal relationship with God will be a reflection of our temporal one. Jesus said it himself "eternal life is about knowing God." Knowing God. Those are relational words. Not legal terms. I believe Hell to be the absence of God in our life and its an absence we choose for ourselves. So, yes I believe that there will be some people who aren't baptized who will and do experience "hell" as I described it here, but I also believe that there will be some people who ARE baptized who will and do experience hell as I described it here. Baptism doesn't nor shouldn't take the place of relationship. And its the relationship which saves us. Now and forever.
All these things considered, what function does baptism play in the life of a Christian?
Before I answer I think it would be helpful to consider the role it played in the first century. As Christians we tend to assume that most of our traditions were invented by us. The opposite is often true. Most of our traditions were once traditions of the pagans but we took and changed them to suit our own means. Now don't hear me wrong, I'm not implying that our traditions are tainted because they were once pagan I'm only suggesting that its helpful to know where they came from. Baptism was a rite of passage in the first century - especially in main stream socieity. It was used as a form of initiation into communities of all sorts as it represented commitment, faith and loyalty in those communities. When John the Baptist came on the scene he used baptism as a way for people to join his community of faith. The baptism of John was not the same as the baptism we enage in today as "John's was of water but Jesus' is of fire." When John said that I believe he was making a distinction. He was saying that the baptism of Jesus goes beyond the typical initiation rite. I believe he said this because he knew that Jesus was special. And that his message carried more weight. My point with all this is - baptism was a tradition long before Christianity but was adopted by Chrisitianity because it was a common cultural symbol that resonated with people therefore why not use it as the primary symbol of commitment and loyalty to Jesus Christ. In other words, there's nothing magic or unique about baptism itself, the uniqueness comes in what it represents. And for Christians, it represents love, commitment and loyalty to God as known in Jesus Christ.
As far as today, I believe baptism plays a very formative role in the life of a Christian just as I believe a wedding plays a very formative role in the life of a married couple. I believe its important to be able to look back and say - January 15th 1989 - that was the day I made my love for God public. Or, August 16th 1997, that was the day I made my love for Angie public. That being said, I still think its important to note that my love for God on January 14/89 was exactly the same or even more then my love for him on January 15th. (More only because on the actual day I was more concerned about the fact that I had forgotten a change of underwear then I was that I had just gone public with my faith.) Do I think that if I died on January 14th that I'd spend an eternity apart from God. No! My relationship with God began months, even years before the day I actually went public with it. And as Jesus said, eternal life is about relationship. Now and forever.
A couple weeks ago, Mulbuh, one of the African teens in my youth group, asked me if I might baptize him. When I asked him why he wanted to get baptized he said "It's time I lived the life of God."
Amen.
John
P.S. So Jord, now that I've shared I believe its time you did. So tell us, what really happened that night you called 411?
My first response was not to respond but I was quickly reminded by my conscience that, that is not a response. How right she is. Yes, my conscience is a she. I've even named her Angie. Back to Jord's question.
Not responding is not good enough and responding but only dancing is even worse. I've always hated it when pastors skirt important questions and I've never wanted to be that guy so I'm not going to be.
Before you continue reading, if you haven't already read my Born again post then please scroll down and do so now. It'll save me having to repeat a bunch of stuff. So go, read.
Welcome back. Now that you're aware of my history and how I feel about it we can proceed.
As I said in my Born again post, I no longer believe baptism to be a legal transaction where we trade in our sins and are given eternal life in return. My reason for not believing this is two fold. One, I do not believe our salvation to be a legal process. And two, I feel this legal view of baptism promotes selfish Christianity. It is my believe that salvation is a daily walk, something "we work out" - as Paul says -not in a way that denies grace but in a way where in the light of that grace we take ownership of our faith recognizing that it will involve a never ending cycle of doubt, growth and movement. To claim that all one must do to be saved is be immersed under water and say "yes I believe' when prodded takes away from that process. I can't tell you how many people I know, including myself, who got baptized then proceeded to become one of the most prideful, self consumed, self righteous people to walk the face of the earth. Where's the motivation in living your life for Jesus when you're already assured of your salvation at 12 years old? After all, that is the reason to live your life like Jesus, right? Reward in the after life? Insert sarcasm here. The life of God is so vast, so deep and so wide yet we think all we need to do to be immersed into it is a tub of water and a deep breath.
Getting baptized in order to complete a faith legal transaction makes God the judge, Jesus the attorney, me the defendent and you all the witnesses. Yeah, I've seen that clever skit to. But I guess what I'm honestly wondering is - why do I have to be on trial? I don't want a relationship with the divine because his son managed to pull off a miracle in the courtroom, I want a relationship with the divine because I want a relationship with the divine. I want it because I know I'll never fully be human until I can connect with the one who made me so. I don't want God because Acts 2:38 said I had to have him in order to be saved. I don't want God because the thought of hell terrifies me. I want God for God's sake. And I want baptism to represent that!
I mentioned that getting baptized for legal reasons begets selfish Christianity. I say this because human nature tends to do things for pragmatic reasons, meaning, they'll participate if they believe it'll work out positively in the end. The central claim baptism makes is that it'll more then work out for us in the end, we'll spend forever with God in heaven. And so we take the plunge. What I wonder though is - how is that not selfish? "I'll take the plunge to avoid hell." If I were God I'd be tempted to say "Thanks, but don't bother." God wants us for relationship first. Righteousness will follow.
Jordan also asked if I thought that the non baptized will go to hell. I believe there will be people separated from God in the after life mainly because there are people separated from God already, in this life. I think we choose our eternity right now. I think our eternal relationship with God will be a reflection of our temporal one. Jesus said it himself "eternal life is about knowing God." Knowing God. Those are relational words. Not legal terms. I believe Hell to be the absence of God in our life and its an absence we choose for ourselves. So, yes I believe that there will be some people who aren't baptized who will and do experience "hell" as I described it here, but I also believe that there will be some people who ARE baptized who will and do experience hell as I described it here. Baptism doesn't nor shouldn't take the place of relationship. And its the relationship which saves us. Now and forever.
All these things considered, what function does baptism play in the life of a Christian?
Before I answer I think it would be helpful to consider the role it played in the first century. As Christians we tend to assume that most of our traditions were invented by us. The opposite is often true. Most of our traditions were once traditions of the pagans but we took and changed them to suit our own means. Now don't hear me wrong, I'm not implying that our traditions are tainted because they were once pagan I'm only suggesting that its helpful to know where they came from. Baptism was a rite of passage in the first century - especially in main stream socieity. It was used as a form of initiation into communities of all sorts as it represented commitment, faith and loyalty in those communities. When John the Baptist came on the scene he used baptism as a way for people to join his community of faith. The baptism of John was not the same as the baptism we enage in today as "John's was of water but Jesus' is of fire." When John said that I believe he was making a distinction. He was saying that the baptism of Jesus goes beyond the typical initiation rite. I believe he said this because he knew that Jesus was special. And that his message carried more weight. My point with all this is - baptism was a tradition long before Christianity but was adopted by Chrisitianity because it was a common cultural symbol that resonated with people therefore why not use it as the primary symbol of commitment and loyalty to Jesus Christ. In other words, there's nothing magic or unique about baptism itself, the uniqueness comes in what it represents. And for Christians, it represents love, commitment and loyalty to God as known in Jesus Christ.
As far as today, I believe baptism plays a very formative role in the life of a Christian just as I believe a wedding plays a very formative role in the life of a married couple. I believe its important to be able to look back and say - January 15th 1989 - that was the day I made my love for God public. Or, August 16th 1997, that was the day I made my love for Angie public. That being said, I still think its important to note that my love for God on January 14/89 was exactly the same or even more then my love for him on January 15th. (More only because on the actual day I was more concerned about the fact that I had forgotten a change of underwear then I was that I had just gone public with my faith.) Do I think that if I died on January 14th that I'd spend an eternity apart from God. No! My relationship with God began months, even years before the day I actually went public with it. And as Jesus said, eternal life is about relationship. Now and forever.
A couple weeks ago, Mulbuh, one of the African teens in my youth group, asked me if I might baptize him. When I asked him why he wanted to get baptized he said "It's time I lived the life of God."
Amen.
John
P.S. So Jord, now that I've shared I believe its time you did. So tell us, what really happened that night you called 411?
Monday, January 15, 2007
Born Again
18 years ago today I forgot my underwear and was forced to pant it alone. I still don't know how I could I have forgotten to bring a dry pair. I knew the the ones I had on were going to get wet. In fact, I had planned on it. Yet I forgot. My dad found it quite humorous. As he chuckled away I secretly began to die inside as I realized I would now have to head to bible class with only a millimetre of denim between ME and the outside world. Ah yes, did I mention I was at church at the time? Now remember, I was 12 so my self worth was about as thick as the same denim so trauma could have been me. But it wasn't. In fact, I quickly forgot about my issue and enjoyed the rest of the day. It ended up being one of the happiest days of my life.
How is that possible the casual reader might ask. Well cr, its possible because I, John Denim Close, had just been baptized by my father at the Weyburn Church of Christ. Of course I remember the date. January 15, 1989, It was the day I assured myself and everyone else that when the time came for me to die - I'd be decomposing on the Lord's side.
Since that time my faith has changed. A tad. For instance, I now have one. I'm guessing you know what I mean. I'm guessing you got baptized for the same reasons I did - default. You were born to Christian parents, grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian church where it was taught you must get baptized to be saved and the thought of not being saved scared the pants right off you and so you did. You got saved. But you never really gave your life to God.
Why would you, though? Your after life was already secure. There was no doubt you'd pass the retina scan at the Pearly gates. And if worse came to worse, you knew the password.
Pearly Gate Attender: "Your retinas are not scanning properly, do you have any other form of identification?
Petrified You: "Uh Uh Uh, well, what do you mean?"
Pearly Gate Attender: " I mean, your retinas are bogus, so I'm going to need something else, like a password. Do you know the password."
Confident You: Of course. I am a Church of Christer, you know. Acts 2:38.
Pearly Gate Attender: "You have chosen. . .wisely."
And all heaven rejoiced because although the retina's were bogus, you knew the password.
Scuse my sarcasm, I'm not railing against baptism, just a form which I feel is more destructive then life changing. Life change. Isn't that what baptism is about? By confining salvation to a tub, one might actually believe that all it takes to enter the life of God is freezing water with a cup of scum on top. But, what may seem like a recipe for salvation turns out to be a formula for legalism. I think I finally understand our infatuation with formulas. They're clear, conscise, and our favorite - logical. My how we love logic.
Its logical to get baptized, we surmise, and so we do. But when's the last night it blew your hair back when your spouse did something for you out of logic. "Ah, thanks for taking the kids for the day your such a good husband and father." "No prob babes, although, I Am Your Husband, so its only logical that I'd take the kids." Pretty inspiring stuff.
My fear is that baptism has become the great legal transaction of the church and that's why our lives in God are lived legally rather then relationally. Legal living begets legalism and sadly, I, you, us - we've been known for both. Perhaps not all of us personally, but for sure, us, meaning the Churches of Christ.
These are the thoughts that dominated my morning, this being the anniversary of my baptism.
I lived legally for the first 15 years but for the past 3 I have tried with all my being to live my life in the hiddeness, mystery and beauty of God. And I finally feel new. Almost. . . reborn.
John
How is that possible the casual reader might ask. Well cr, its possible because I, John Denim Close, had just been baptized by my father at the Weyburn Church of Christ. Of course I remember the date. January 15, 1989, It was the day I assured myself and everyone else that when the time came for me to die - I'd be decomposing on the Lord's side.
Since that time my faith has changed. A tad. For instance, I now have one. I'm guessing you know what I mean. I'm guessing you got baptized for the same reasons I did - default. You were born to Christian parents, grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian church where it was taught you must get baptized to be saved and the thought of not being saved scared the pants right off you and so you did. You got saved. But you never really gave your life to God.
Why would you, though? Your after life was already secure. There was no doubt you'd pass the retina scan at the Pearly gates. And if worse came to worse, you knew the password.
Pearly Gate Attender: "Your retinas are not scanning properly, do you have any other form of identification?
Petrified You: "Uh Uh Uh, well, what do you mean?"
Pearly Gate Attender: " I mean, your retinas are bogus, so I'm going to need something else, like a password. Do you know the password."
Confident You: Of course. I am a Church of Christer, you know. Acts 2:38.
Pearly Gate Attender: "You have chosen. . .wisely."
And all heaven rejoiced because although the retina's were bogus, you knew the password.
Scuse my sarcasm, I'm not railing against baptism, just a form which I feel is more destructive then life changing. Life change. Isn't that what baptism is about? By confining salvation to a tub, one might actually believe that all it takes to enter the life of God is freezing water with a cup of scum on top. But, what may seem like a recipe for salvation turns out to be a formula for legalism. I think I finally understand our infatuation with formulas. They're clear, conscise, and our favorite - logical. My how we love logic.
Its logical to get baptized, we surmise, and so we do. But when's the last night it blew your hair back when your spouse did something for you out of logic. "Ah, thanks for taking the kids for the day your such a good husband and father." "No prob babes, although, I Am Your Husband, so its only logical that I'd take the kids." Pretty inspiring stuff.
My fear is that baptism has become the great legal transaction of the church and that's why our lives in God are lived legally rather then relationally. Legal living begets legalism and sadly, I, you, us - we've been known for both. Perhaps not all of us personally, but for sure, us, meaning the Churches of Christ.
These are the thoughts that dominated my morning, this being the anniversary of my baptism.
I lived legally for the first 15 years but for the past 3 I have tried with all my being to live my life in the hiddeness, mystery and beauty of God. And I finally feel new. Almost. . . reborn.
John
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
It does a body good
Brother Jordan is back. If you desire an intellectual work out or if you like controversy then go see what the brotha is up to.
Jordan: It does a body good.
John
Jordan: It does a body good.
John
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
Who's the best?
8 years ago and change I began down the road of higher edukashun. For two years I poured myself into my studies while at the same working as the campus minister for Western Christian College. Blair, Jeremy, Kris, Kamara, Benj - you all should remember. Tim and J- I think you guys were just finishing or had already left. And Trav. My good buddy Trav. Travis was in the same program I was in, taking many of the same classes I was and he was my driving buddy on our trips to Memphis. Man, those were good times, fun times, the best times. Two buddies on a road trip, what could be better? Hey Trav, remember what we did to stay awake that time? Shhh. Remember the shine in the ditch?
For those of you intriged, the shine turned out to be a flipped van and the van's contents were spread everywhere including the family who was riding in it. It turned out we were first on the scene, I'll never forget that scene. Especially the wailing parents and kid trying desperatly to breathe through his crushed chest. The feeling of helplessness I felt at that moment was among the worst things I've ever felt. The next thing I remember many others had gathered, including the road blockers, and an hour later the ambulance finally showed up and air lifted them out of there. Apparently this whole tragedy could have been avoided if the driver hadn't decided to sleep and drive . This all took place about 3am and I remember Trav and I had been falling asleep as well. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was much more. . .wakeful.
I also remember C C's pizza. Every night after an intense day of Graduate school Trav and I along with our fellow GS buddies would head to the local pizza joint where you could get all the pizza you wanted for 2.99. Man, oh to be able to eat like that again, I think our average was 10-12 slices per visit. As we stuffed ourselves we'd study. . .the mammoth screen and watch the NBA playoffs. Other memories include getting reemed out by some white dude in the bad part of town. Apparently our presence in that area was in grave danger and so he had advised us to vacate the premises just as soon as we had finished picking out our favorite slurpee flavor. We complied but I've always wondered why it was ok that he was there. Perhaps the reason included the fact that we didn't have crack to sell and he did. Who knows. Good times that Graduate school. And great times with Travis. Man I miss that guy.
Anyways, the point of this post was to announce that I am finally finishing that Masters degree I started all those years ago and hope to be done by December of this year. I am doing my Final Paper on the topic of "Homelessness in Calgary and how the Church should respond." Before I get to that paper I have to take a penalty course because I have taken so long to finish what I started. The course begins this week and is on Congregational ministry.
So, there you have it. I'm officially a student again.
But it won't be the same without Travis. He's the best.
John
For those of you intriged, the shine turned out to be a flipped van and the van's contents were spread everywhere including the family who was riding in it. It turned out we were first on the scene, I'll never forget that scene. Especially the wailing parents and kid trying desperatly to breathe through his crushed chest. The feeling of helplessness I felt at that moment was among the worst things I've ever felt. The next thing I remember many others had gathered, including the road blockers, and an hour later the ambulance finally showed up and air lifted them out of there. Apparently this whole tragedy could have been avoided if the driver hadn't decided to sleep and drive . This all took place about 3am and I remember Trav and I had been falling asleep as well. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was much more. . .wakeful.
I also remember C C's pizza. Every night after an intense day of Graduate school Trav and I along with our fellow GS buddies would head to the local pizza joint where you could get all the pizza you wanted for 2.99. Man, oh to be able to eat like that again, I think our average was 10-12 slices per visit. As we stuffed ourselves we'd study. . .the mammoth screen and watch the NBA playoffs. Other memories include getting reemed out by some white dude in the bad part of town. Apparently our presence in that area was in grave danger and so he had advised us to vacate the premises just as soon as we had finished picking out our favorite slurpee flavor. We complied but I've always wondered why it was ok that he was there. Perhaps the reason included the fact that we didn't have crack to sell and he did. Who knows. Good times that Graduate school. And great times with Travis. Man I miss that guy.
Anyways, the point of this post was to announce that I am finally finishing that Masters degree I started all those years ago and hope to be done by December of this year. I am doing my Final Paper on the topic of "Homelessness in Calgary and how the Church should respond." Before I get to that paper I have to take a penalty course because I have taken so long to finish what I started. The course begins this week and is on Congregational ministry.
So, there you have it. I'm officially a student again.
But it won't be the same without Travis. He's the best.
John
Friday, January 05, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Holy Hanna!!
You HAVE to watch the Oiler highlights tonight.
I guarantee the last 15 seconds of the game will be talked about for YEARS to come.
In the end the Oilers lost in a shootout but no one will EVER forget what happened to tie the game.
I will post a video later tonight.
In the meantime watch the highlights - seriously you will be floored.
John
I guarantee the last 15 seconds of the game will be talked about for YEARS to come.
In the end the Oilers lost in a shootout but no one will EVER forget what happened to tie the game.
I will post a video later tonight.
In the meantime watch the highlights - seriously you will be floored.
John
Monday, January 01, 2007
what to do, what to do...
Kids seem to have a few things going for them, namely no bills and all play. But also, they know themselves better than most adults ever will. We were talking to our Sunday school teacher who was laughing (or crying, I can't remember) at Alexa's inability to keep focused during class time, so she tried giving her some crayons and paper thinking that she would never have the attention span to stick with it. Well, apparently that's the only thing that keeps little Lex's attention, which didn't surprise me because she always says she wants to be an artist. This will probably evolve into other interests and eventually lead into what she decides to do as an adult, I just hope that all our kids can know themselves as well then as they do now. I don't think I do, and I know many of my friends wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they had a spare moment to do whatever they wanted (c'mon, guys- chores and TV doesn't count). I think about the next couple years when we look into schooling options for the kids, which means job options for me, and it's kind of scary. I feel like the little kid that's trying to decide if she wants to be a ballerina or an astronaut when she grows up, although I've ruled out all things ballet (collective sigh of relief- I heard it). I'm 30, so I should know what I want to do with my life, but I really, really don't. I've basically got it narrowed down to anything that doesn't involve cheerfully wishing hundreds of shoppers a nice day as I hand out yellow happy face stickers. Plus I can't imagine myself in the corporate world at all. Or cleaning up after people. Or giving rehearsed sales pitches. Someone said I look like a librarian (which I did not take as a compliment) and I do love books, but everyone at the library that I've come across seems to be stressed out or bitter. Of course this could be because of our late returns and accidentally forgetting our library card on occassion. Shoot. Well, back to the drawing board of life for me.
Ang
Ang
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