Oprah says that "biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. " I would guess the same is true for fathers. Unless he's shooting blanks, any dude can impregnate. But it takes a special kind of man to be a father. Fortunately, I grew up with that kind of man and for the past 10 years I have tried to be that same man. Trouble is, trying to be a good father is like trying to be in good shape. You know its crucial but all you feel like doing is sitting on your butt and pounding back the Old Dutch .
I have a ton of respect for dudes who can Father. I've already mentioned my own but I also think of people like Wayne McKeage. Wayne's barely 60 but you'd think the guy was my contemporary. He lives his life like he enjoys it and helps everyone to do the same. I think that's why his kids enjoy him so much. They see who he IS.
I also think of Colin Hattrick. Colin is my contemporary but he fathers with the same dedication and love of a 60 yr old. I often joke that Natalia is a magician because at 2, she's managed to wrap her grown daddy around her pinky. Its true, but every time I see the way he looks at her I'm reminded to get up and father for real this time. Angie says I'm a good father blah blah blah, I just rarely agree. Too often I'm too distracted, busy or gone to be at the level of a Wayne, Colin or a John S Close. I realize this. I recognize this. Which is why I resigned.
Yeah yeah, God called me to ministry - but the reality is there are 38 others who could replace me tomorrow and the teens would be just fine. And they will be. But no man could EVER replace me as Maddison, Ethan and Alexa's father. I'm all they got. They're all I got. Which is elementary and profound at the same time. So easy a concept, so difficult a follow through.
Beginning this September, I am taking 10 months off to travel with my family through England, France, Spain, Mallorca, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Egypt, India, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, China and beyond. The plan is to work together, learn together, be stretched and challenged and formed together. Most of all, the plan is TO BE TOGETHER. It's always been the plan.
Only now, I'm following through.
John
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
With or Without God
I just started reading this important book. This quote about Christianity's core message and the church's funtion - will challenge you I think. Read it slowly, drinking it in. For me, it really resonated.
"Out of the multitude of understandings of religion, spirituality and faith; out of the varying views of the origins, nature and purpose of life; out of the countless individual experiences of what might be called divine; out of it all may be distilled a core that, very simply put, is love.
This core message carries its own authority. It needs no doctrine to validate it, no external expert or supernatural authority to tell us it is right. Love is quite demanding enough as a foundation, sufficiently complex and challenging without the requirement of additional beliefs, unbelievable to many. The church the future needs is one of people gathering to share and recommit themselves to loving relationships with themselves, their families the wider community and the planet.
Such a church need not fear the discoveries of science, history, archaeology, psychology or literature; it will only be enhanced by such discoveries. Such a church need not avoid the implications of critical thinking for its message; it will only become more effective. Such a church need not cling to and justify a particular source for its authority; it will draw on the wisdom of the ages and challenge divisive and destructive barriers. Such a church, grown out of values that transcend personal security, self-interest, and well-being, could play a role in the future that is not only viable but radically transformative and desperately needed."
- Gretta Vosper
John
"Out of the multitude of understandings of religion, spirituality and faith; out of the varying views of the origins, nature and purpose of life; out of the countless individual experiences of what might be called divine; out of it all may be distilled a core that, very simply put, is love.
This core message carries its own authority. It needs no doctrine to validate it, no external expert or supernatural authority to tell us it is right. Love is quite demanding enough as a foundation, sufficiently complex and challenging without the requirement of additional beliefs, unbelievable to many. The church the future needs is one of people gathering to share and recommit themselves to loving relationships with themselves, their families the wider community and the planet.
Such a church need not fear the discoveries of science, history, archaeology, psychology or literature; it will only be enhanced by such discoveries. Such a church need not avoid the implications of critical thinking for its message; it will only become more effective. Such a church need not cling to and justify a particular source for its authority; it will draw on the wisdom of the ages and challenge divisive and destructive barriers. Such a church, grown out of values that transcend personal security, self-interest, and well-being, could play a role in the future that is not only viable but radically transformative and desperately needed."
- Gretta Vosper
John
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Yes, those are people in the air.
This was taken on Sunday in Mexico. The driver of the car fell asleep. Sorry about that biker dudes.
Monday, June 02, 2008
The Lall Family
Sometime last Wednesday, between 8:30-10:00pm, Joshua Lall walked down to his basement and surprised his friend and tenant Amber Bowerman with a knife. Shortly after, Joshua walked back upstairs and entered his bedroom where he cornered his wife Alison and two little girls Kristen and Rochelle before doing the unthinkable once again. Having killed 4 people in less than an hour, Joshua walked down the hall to his one year old Anna lying in her crib. A few minutes later Joshua lay dead. Anna, meanwhile, remained in her crib. Screaming, presumably.
If this sounds like a scene from a horror movie, let me assure you its much worse. For the past 5 days Calgarians have woken up to the Lall family. The first few nights I slept ok, but as the story continued to unfold I slept less and less. It's one thing if you're dealing with a psychopath, a maniac, a sick bastard. But Joshua wasn't any of these. He was a loyal husband, loving father, involved community member, and dedicated employee.
This case has messed with my mind, my sense of what's black white. The grey is slowly making me crazy. How could a loyal, loving, involved and dedicated human being do something so inhumane? Sources say in the weeks leading up, Joshua had been hearing voices . These same sources point to a phone call he had made to his parents only 2 days before, expressing his distress. His parents were concerned enough to board a plane and fly to Calgary, arriving only hours too late. Others say he was overwhelmed by work feeling incredible pressure to maintain his perfectionistic lifestyle. Still others are saying "psychotic episodes of this kind rarely materialize this quickly and so warning signs had to have been missed."
Every day a new theory, email, source seems to emerge as people, press and parents try desperately to find the rational in the irrational, the sense in the nonsense. God knows I have.
In the end though, no matter what is uncovered, discovered, recovered or just covered, nobody will ever know what possessed 34 yr old Joshua Lall to do what he did. His crime will forever lie shrouded in mystery known only to the killer and his maker.
Does this make me feel better? Hell no. What could?
John
If this sounds like a scene from a horror movie, let me assure you its much worse. For the past 5 days Calgarians have woken up to the Lall family. The first few nights I slept ok, but as the story continued to unfold I slept less and less. It's one thing if you're dealing with a psychopath, a maniac, a sick bastard. But Joshua wasn't any of these. He was a loyal husband, loving father, involved community member, and dedicated employee.
This case has messed with my mind, my sense of what's black white. The grey is slowly making me crazy. How could a loyal, loving, involved and dedicated human being do something so inhumane? Sources say in the weeks leading up, Joshua had been hearing voices . These same sources point to a phone call he had made to his parents only 2 days before, expressing his distress. His parents were concerned enough to board a plane and fly to Calgary, arriving only hours too late. Others say he was overwhelmed by work feeling incredible pressure to maintain his perfectionistic lifestyle. Still others are saying "psychotic episodes of this kind rarely materialize this quickly and so warning signs had to have been missed."
Every day a new theory, email, source seems to emerge as people, press and parents try desperately to find the rational in the irrational, the sense in the nonsense. God knows I have.
In the end though, no matter what is uncovered, discovered, recovered or just covered, nobody will ever know what possessed 34 yr old Joshua Lall to do what he did. His crime will forever lie shrouded in mystery known only to the killer and his maker.
Does this make me feel better? Hell no. What could?
John
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