Lexa's Laugh

The mouse is funny. . .apparently.

The Chocolate Jesus

Before you get angry, ask yourself, who fashioned this image, really? The ungodly artist or. . us.

Go here for more. Go here too.

tom waits- Chocolate Jesus

Like all art, you can interpret this however you want. I thought it fit the season.

Inspiring Stuff

Here's a random list of recent things that have inspired me.

1. Maddison was just named to the 66 Club at church for accurately naming all the books of the bible. Apparently she won't recieve any extra credit if she names all the apocraphical books so I've told her not to bother.

2. Angie's new hobby.

3. "Even if I knew the world would end tommorow, I would plant a tree today." Martin L. K.

4. This

5. And This

6. Not this

Always This. In fact, I just had breakfast with Johnny B today. He was passing through Calgary on the way to Banff and wanted to grab some breakfast. That guy always makes me smile. Ha, especially today because he's currently sporting the biggest beard I've ever seen on someone so young and innocent. Ha Ha, so funny.

And finally, it's become a habit that I wake up each morning with these words to start my day:

"God, may I truely live and move and have my being in you today."

That prayer has changed everything for me.

John

Stephen Wiltshire: The Human Camera

This guy is a genius. You won't see anything like it.

John

TONY!

Don't know if you ever watch The Hour with George Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz but last week he had my man Tony Campolo on and for 10 minutes Tony REPRESENTED, as my teens would say. Jesus got the best hearing in the media he's had in years. Make sure you watch!

Thy Kingdom come. . .

John

P.S. Also, read the comments from those who watched, wow.

The Secret

Apparently, there is one. A secret that is. A universal magnetism that draws things together. Ms. Byrne calls it "the law of attraction." I haven't read her but I think I've experienced what she describes. The basic idea is, humans attract those things that resemble or connect with their present state. For example, if you are a negative person, you will most likely attract negativity. You'll see more of it, hear more of it, experience more of it because you are a draw for negativity. On the other hand, if you are a positive person, the opposite will be true. Rhonda, as she's asked me to call her, has recently made millions off this "secret" and if the hysteria keeps up her little book may be canonized. Who knows.

All skepticism aside, I do think Rhon has identified something worth paying attention to. In fact, I've noticed her secret playing out in my life. Fine, I'll open up.

For the past year and a bit I've been Marty Mcflying my life. Most mornings I wake up, well, all mornings I guess, and after I'm up I drink my healthy green powder OJ thing, exercise if its that time of month, take the dog for a run, shower, kiss the family goodbye, then head to work - scarfing down cold toast with a thin layer of organic jam as I drive. "Because its expensive John, that's why", says Ang. As I drive, I resume the inner monologue from the previous morning asking myself what I plan to do with the rest of my life because as it stands now, life sucks. As usual, no answer comes but merely the reminder that I'm closing in on 6 years in youth ministry, which of course also reminds me that I'm 30 and balding quicker then one would like. I retort, by reminding myself that "Julius Caesar was bald by 30 and look at how many people he killed." I feel strangely better. Although 10 minutes later I'm sitting in my office paralyzed, unable to do.

When I'm at my worst I take the day off and surf which only seems to increase the level of paralysis that I feel -or don't feel I guess. The day moves at a snail's pace and by the time 5ish rolls around I slink back to my mini van, because that's what you buy when you're 30, and head home knowing that once again I was incompetant as a youth minister as I spent 9 hours "ministering" without giving a teen a second thought. As I arrive home, I am greeted by the greatest (and most excited) family you ever did see and after all the hugs and kisses and licks and jumps I collapse on the couch just as Angie asks me how my day was? I'm sick of pretending so I say "horrible." She wants to talk about it but I. . .don't. So I neglect the kids, rebuke the dog, and wonder out loud when supper will be ready. I hate who I am.


As grim as the above sounds that was my life for most of 2006 and a bit of 2007. I was a self consumed, narcissistic, negative bon of a sitch. (no different then saying frick in my books) Because I was that, I drew all that crap to me and the cycle repeated itself. The amazing thing was my exciting family loved me in spite of it all and most days they could still be found excitedly greeting me as I slumped through the door. That being said, all good things must come to an end and so one day as I walked in the house I wasn't surprised to discover that nobody was home. Or so I thought. As I ventured on in everyone was home. And they knew I was home. And that's it. That's about all there was. That's when I realized who I had truly become and knew I had to change.

So I have been. And I gotta tell you, life is gettin good, so much better then it was before. My family is better, my work is better, my lessons are better, my relationships are better and I give my teens multiple second thoughts. . .things are so different.

Yet. . .

I am the same age.
I have the same hair.
I have the same morning routine.
I drive the same van to work.
I work at the same place.
I do the same job.
I come home to the same family.
I have the same wonderings what I'll do for the rest of my life.

So what's my secret?

I've switched monologues.

The new one sounds something like this:

"You're the luckiest man alive John, now live like it!"

John

God Tube

Don't know if any of you have come across this gem yet but you'll be pleased to know we now have an answer to You Tube. I'm still wondering what that means.

I went to the site and watched about a half dozen videos. One of the videos involves a cover of the popular Shrek song "I like big butts and I cannot lie." The author cleverly changed the song to "Baby got Bible" in which he sings "I got Big Bibles and I cannot lie" among other things.

That being said, I believe there are redemptive qualities in all things so I'm sure if you looked around long enough you would find something worth watching. For instance I know they have Christian Music videos. . . never mind, there's redemptive qualties in most things.

John

P.S. Ok, I must share those "other things." He also says "I wouldn't be hanging around girls with those midriffs exposed, those bimbos, I prefer girls who like them devos." He also mentions how we must "only use the KJVs because even Paul wouldn't paraphrase."

busy- sort of

Well, folks, I have been too busy to blog. Who knew I'd cave when John pulled out the sarcasm. It's hardly like I can't handle it. We're one of those rare couples whose marriage is based on making fun of each other (and a couple other nice things like frienship, love, blah, blah, blah).

What have I been busy with, you ask (or more likely, don't ask at all)? Well, let's see. I taught three kids all morning on everything from slavery to light energy to long division. I did 5 loads of dishes. I tried my hand at a little creative writing which I thought I may take up as a hobby of sorts, all though it's turning out I'm not so creative and my writing is, let's see, how should I put it? Oh. Boring. I made supper, cleaned up a hallway full of dog pee, yelled at dog every time he licked his incision, as per vet's instructions (well, not exactly the yelling part, but seriously how many times does he have to do that?), bathed kids, petted cat, looked out window, re-did my ponytail, re-thought whole ponytail thing, changed socks after stepping in dog pee and had several coffees.

So, basically I've had nothing interesting to blog about. That's all.

Oh- I shaved the cat. He had some matted fur I needed to take care of and one thing led to another. You know how that goes. I'll try and post a picture, because I think that's kind of interesting.

Ang

Kisses

I was just telling Angie that she really needs to post something. After all, it is her turn but even more important- "Hugo's manleys" is the only topic you poor people have had to read for the past week. She said she can't because "she's too busy with other stuff " which makes sense because, I'm not busy either Ang, I'm especially not working fulltime plus trying to finish my Masters which includes starting a book report that's due tommorow, studying for a test I have next week as well as beginning a 20 page paper that's due next month. One thing for certain is I didn't just get home from a meeting and there's no way I was up at 6 this morning.
I know this much is true.

That being the case Angie, I want you to know that I don't consider equality with God something to be grasped, so I've taken the form of a servant and decided to blog today so you don't have to tommorow.

I know.

I love you to.

Husband

Congo Lines

I dropped Mr. Hugo off at the vet today. The last few weeks have seen his frequent "introductions" to the children, dancing as Maddison calls it, and so Ang and I decided it was finally time for his "demascunilization." That being said, it has been entertaining watching him initiate congo lines in the hallway. Ha Ha. So funny. The best part is the kids are totally unaware that their pet is in fact not dancing but actually trying to get jiggy with them. Many a time Angie has yelled for me to "do something" but its difficult to be Alpha dog when your in hysteria. So funny. . . and so hard to yell "Hugo, no."

Anyways, as I type he is probably drifting off to sleep completely unaware that his friendly neighborhood vet is at this very moment slicing off all hopes of Congo in the future. At first I thought that we were sons of Lucifer for actually paying someone to do this to our Hugo but as I've read I've discovered its actually the best thing for his future health.
I'm sure Hugo would disagree. In fact, If he could talk I can just imagine the earful I would recieve.

Hugo: Wait, you knew about this?
Me: Well, yeah, but. . .
Hugo: What the heck, you're serious? You actually knew about this.
Me: Hey, its for your own good. The book said. . .
Hugo: The book? What book?
Me: Golden Retriever for Dummies.
Hugo: You cut off my manhood because a book for dummies told you to? (Growls turns into bites)
Me: (panicing) Ouch. Stop it. No Hugo! Listen, if it makes you feel better, Angie made me do the same thing?
Hugo: (growls) Liar.
Me: I'm not lying, just stop it.
Hugo: You're serious.
John nods.
Hugo: (laughing begins)
Me: What's so funny?
Hugo: (laughing continues) Nothing MASTER, or should I say, little man. (Hysterical now)
Me: Just get in the car.

John

The Walrus and the Carpenter

Hey guys. Welcome to Lewis Caroll's famous poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter." I've read it like 10 times in the last half hour and each time the symbolism becomes more apparent.

Read it yourself then let me know what it meant to you, or what you think it symbolizes.

Roberta, Kamara - I especially would like your feedback. You English majors you.

John

P.S. Lewis Carroll is the dude who gave us "Alice in Wonderland."


The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might: He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright --And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily, because she thought the sun had got no business to be there after the day was done --'It's very rude of him.' she said,'To come and spoil the fun!'

The sea was wet as wet could be, the sands were dry as dry.You could not see a cloud, because no cloud was in the sky:No birds were flying overhead --There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand: they wept like anything to see such quantities of sand:'If this were only cleared away,'They said, 'it would be grand.''

If seven maids with seven mops swept it for half a year, Do you suppose,' the Walrus said,'That they could get it clear?''l doubt it,' said the Carpenter, and shed a bitter tear.'

O Oysters, come and walk with us! The Walrus did beseech.' A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, along the briny beach: We cannot do with more than four,To give a hand to each.'

The eldest Oyster looked at him, but never a word he said: The eldest Oyster winked his eye, and shook his heavy head --Meaning to say he did not choose to leave the oyster-bed.

Out four young Oysters hurried up all eager for the treat: Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, their shoes were clean and neat --And this was odd, because, you know,they hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them, and yet another four; and thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more, and more --All hopping through the frothy waves, and scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter walked on a mile or so, and then they rested on a rock conveniently low: And all the little Oysters stood and waited in a row.

'The time has come,' the Walrus said,'To talk of many things: Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --Of cabbages -- and kings --And why the sea is boiling hot --And whether pigs have wings.''

But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,'Before we have our chat; For some of us are out of breath, and all of us are fat!''No hurry!' said the Carpenter. They thanked him much for that.'

A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,'Is what we chiefly need:Pepper and vinegar besides are very good indeed --Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear, we can begin to feed.''

But not on us!' the Oysters cried, turning a little blue.'After such kindness, that would be a dismal thing to do!''The night is fine,' the Walrus said,'Do you admire the view?''

It was so kind of you to come!And you are very nice!' The Carpenter said nothing but'Cut us another slice-I wish you were not quite so deaf-I've had to ask you twice!''

It seems a shame,' the Walrus said,'To play them such a trick. After we've brought them out so far, and made them trot so quick!' The Carpenter said nothing but'the butter's spread too thick!''

I weep for you,'the Walrus said:'I deeply sympathize.'With sobs and tears he sorted out those of the largest size. Holding his pocket-handkerchief before his streaming eyes.'O Oysters,' said the Carpenter,'You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?'But answer came there none --And this was scarcely odd, because they'd eaten every one.

- Lewis Carroll

Jesus is not religion

I saw this shirt. It was black and its white letters seemed to plead "Jesus is not Religion." I stared at the shirt meditating on its message, which by the way can seem very creepy if the person in the shirt ain't a dude. So don't be making that mistake. "I was just reading your shirt, honest." Uh huh.

Anyways, as cliched as that statement has now become it still makes me think and think again.
He's not, is he? In fact, I'm quite sure his primary interest in coming to earth wasn't to preach doctrines about himself whilst starting up a religion that gives you tax breaks come spring. He wasn't into all that stuff. The pharisees were. They made out with the law on a daily basis. When Jesus came preaching that they should feel the need to see other people, starting with him, they didn't like it so much. They loved the law. At least they thought they did. I think they were just infatuated with it. Like we are at times.

What if Religion is based on infatuation but relationship with Jesus is based on love? I have been infatuated with many a girl in my day but I've only ever loved one. Perhaps spiritual formation is the act of teaching people how to move from infatuation to love. Perhaps Churches need to move too. To what?

Instrumental Music, Women's Roles, Baptism, Lord's Supper, Small Groups, Budget, Operations, Building extensions - its all Religion in my mind. As a Church we're infatuated with it, so much so we think we're in love. But it feels wrong, like somethings. . .wrong. So we try to fix it. We allow an instrumental service on a Saturday night, we allow Women to pass communion and in some cases even pray, we encourage Baptism but no longer believe its a deal breaker, we make the Lord's supper more celebratory, we move from being a church with small groups to a church of small groups, we step out in faith and raise the budget, we pray at the Operation committee meetings, we paint our building and in some cases even replace the carpet. We do all these things expecting it will lead into a relationship but are disappointed when we discover that we've only perpetuated the very thing we were trying to eradicate in the first place. We've perpetuated our infatuation. The problem with infatuation is at the time it feels like the real thing - but its not. Its only fantasy, the product of our imagination. And if you look closely, it often has selfishness at its root.

Jesus is not that. Jesus is not religion.

Jesus is love. And he calls us to it. And he calls us to him.

Time to leave our adolesence behind.

John

P.S. So what's this mean for church? Now that's something worth spending our time discussing.

Zach Hunter on Be The Change

This guy is only 15!

It makes me think of the quote "we are the ones we've been waiting for."

No more waiting for me.

John

Help.

Hey everyone.

I need your help.

I'm doing a project for my Masters that involves interviewing 5 "seasoned pastors." I am supposed to come up with the interview questions myself and so far I've got about 37 which I hope to narrow down to about 15.

If you're still awake and would like to help here's what I need.

If you could ask your minister/pastor any question regarding his/her views on ministry or church, what would it be?

If I like your question I'll use it for my project/interviews and you can sleep peacefully knowing you helped me secure an A.

Please send all questions by next Monday. The more serious you take this the more helpful it will be. Thanks for participating.

John

P.S. How've you done on "guessing which movie?'

Sigh

I woke up this morning to an article in the Calgary Herald entitled "Salvation in a bottle." Naturally I was excited at such a spiritual ad. While I read my playful cynicism turned angry as I realized that once again Christians had found a new and creative way to make asses out of themselves. Note: John is using asses in the biblical sense so please don't fear for his relationship with God. It's still great, as far as John knows.

Here's the basic gist: Some bozos in America have bottled ordinary everyday H2o and then prayed over it - thus making it holy. So simple yet so freakin moronic.

Apparently the inventor had a "spiritual experience" and felt the Holy Spirit was leading him
to. . . the. . .bottled water industry. Apparently if you look closely on the bottle it says the following:

Caution: May cause burning, intense heat, skin irritations, rashes, nausea and vomitting.

When asked by the reporter "then why would anyone drink it" - which is not a bad question, good job reporter dude - the creator of the bottle said "Those symptoms will only be found in the lives of sinners."

Score another one for the Kingdom of God. Cha Ching.

Sigh.

John

P.S. I'll link the article when it becomes available online.

P.P.S. This rip was in no way connected with the long standing Catholic tradition of Holy water, very different.

worship.

Poor Lex has "chicken pops". I have to admit that at first I was kind of excited because chicken pox are a milestone of sorts and I have fond memories of skipping school, watching TV and being a little spoiled. I forgot about the intense itching, sleepless nights and many reminders to not scratch or pick. So, not as fun as it sounds. Or maybe you never did think it sounded fun. I don't know- that's always a possibility.

John had me listen to some Derek Webb this morning. I mean, he forced me to sit undistracted and listen. He did the same thing with Jars of Clay. The problem with me is I can be very judgemental. I had my mind made up many moons ago (say that 10 times fast) about Christian "rock". Or worship music. Especially worship music. Now before thoughts of What? She doesn't like to worship God? enter your head let me just say of course I do. I believe we all do, but it certainly doesn't have to look like tigger-bouncing to cliched lyrics that transition to calm as the music fades and someone talks softly into the mic about, hey, more cliches about God, followed by soft generic piano and an invitiation. Oh, and a light show. I'm just saying, this was my narrow and rather snarky judgement and why, when John brought home Jars of Clay, I may have made one or two snide remarks. Maybe. I can't remember. But my point is this. I love the honesty, the doubt, the vulnerability of these two cds and I listen to Jars of Clay on a regular basis, and I'm sure it'll be the same with DW (see? I'm already on a shorten to cute nickname basis). It may have started with me slyly putting them on when John left the house because I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it, but I am now boldly saying that if I were to walk into a Christian bookstore the chances are pretty high that I would find a cd or two to buy. And of course there's Means, but that's in a different league altogether, right? And apparently if I don't plug their new cd that just came out I will be excommunicated from blog world. Plus they're really good. And our kids like them, so...great for the whole family. OK, maybe this is more like an anti plug, so I'll stop now.

Ang

P.S. Check out our new Water Day ad. Heck, participate even.

Tihs is cool

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer bein the rg hit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll ra ed it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not ra ed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Jhon

Goodness

Such a great weekend I had.

My talks were fine but the best part was seeing some of my most favorite people in the world. My big brother Allen, Blair, Wandering J and even Jeremy was there getting a fancy new tatoo and yes, I was the first person to see it. Take that Nic. Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah. I got extended coffee times with all of them and they were blessed for sure. I mean I was blessed. We were blessed. Blessed were we. Love those guys.

The weekend highlight was seeing my brother. I've looked up to the guy my entire life, still looking up in fact, and so to share the stage with him while we talked about "the kingdom of God" was so good. You must understand, next to Angie, Al is the greatest person in the world besides being a very talented preacher so it was an honor and a joy yapping alongside him. Sharing his stage. Besides that, there isn't anyone I laugh as much with. "Walk away Joel, Walk away." Ha Ha. Love ya man.

Another highlight was driving down and back with this man. Although he's called John Smith there's nothing generic about this man and that's what I love most about him. He's completly original, like a mooing duck, and that's hard to find. Besides his originality he's the real deal. He makes everyone around him feel a couple feet taller (which sucks for him because he's already a shortie, ha) but I think that's the best kind of guy. He's also doing great work as the head preach in Red Deer.
I also enjoyed my fellow travelers, Selena Smith, "a biologically sound" girl and daughter to the above man plus Russ Ferris and his kiddos Val and Landon. Although I'm sure they're not reading this I still wanted to give them a shout out. They're all pretty sweet.

Lots of goodness this weekend. Lots of goodness to come.

All things that make life what it should be.

John

The City of Queenage

What's up everyone.

I'll be in Regina this weekend participating in WCC's annual rallying of youth so who knows, perhaps I'll see some of you. If not, well then I guess I'll see you back here, same time, same place on Monday?

That aside,its always a joy returning to the land of the rolling hills and suffocating humidity.

Can't wait.

John