Ha Ha. Ever heard of Rob Bell? Nooma. Ha Ha. Enjoy.
(Ok NOW its time to get back to work)
Friday, August 31, 2007
Rob Bell - Oil
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Darfur
Darfur has been called "the greatest humantarian crisis of our time." I know, so has Aids, poverty, war etc. The unique thing with Darfur though is it encompasses all those things and more. If you're like me, you may not be as informed as you feel you should be but you're not sure you want to take the week off work to get caught up on everything you've missed.
Here's a great resource that will get you in the know without having to take off work.
John
Here's a great resource that will get you in the know without having to take off work.
John
Monday, August 27, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Mother Theresa's letters
"Lord, my God, you have thrown me away as unwanted- unloved. I call, I cling, I want and there is no one to answer, no, no one."
"Alone, where is my faith? Even deep down there is nothing. I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd my heart."
Mother Theresa's words are causing quite the stir, to the point of people questioning her sainthood. I don't know much about being a saint and how that all works, other than the visions and the burnings. A lot of gore and tragedy, really. But I guess it's different now, and Mother Theresa who loved and served and gave for her entire life has been given the honour of sainthood. Without the medeival embellishments of sun like rays eminating from her head and singing to her death in a fire. She didn't need the embellishments because we all knew her. Knew her words and her love and her wrinkled hands, and now we know she had doubts. Major ones, and for some reason people are perplexed and even upset. Maybe a little too much reality, maybe some people want the singing in the fire, I don't know. But I'm convinced that the book of her quotes that John and I have on our shelf would be pretty one dimensional if they came from a woman who had a spotless faith and a gleaming halo. Instead, her words reveal an insight and sincerity that would be impossible without some pretty intense searching and questioning.
I'm not sure exactly how all these letters came out, or why, I haven't followed it that much. I'm guessing it wasn't to encourage the doubting or shed light on Mother Theresa's depth and complexity. And as much as it exposes her most private thoughts, which just seems wrong, I hope that in the end it will inspire and deepen the respect that others feel towards her; a woman who dedicated her life to loving the unloved in spite of her inner turmoil and conflict. Maybe because of it. Without constant assurance of a reward, or even the reward of those she was helping. Without the simplicity of following black and white commandments. A woman of material simplicity, it appears there was nothing simple about her soul. And I love her all the more because of that.
Ang
"Alone, where is my faith? Even deep down there is nothing. I have no faith. I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd my heart."
Mother Theresa's words are causing quite the stir, to the point of people questioning her sainthood. I don't know much about being a saint and how that all works, other than the visions and the burnings. A lot of gore and tragedy, really. But I guess it's different now, and Mother Theresa who loved and served and gave for her entire life has been given the honour of sainthood. Without the medeival embellishments of sun like rays eminating from her head and singing to her death in a fire. She didn't need the embellishments because we all knew her. Knew her words and her love and her wrinkled hands, and now we know she had doubts. Major ones, and for some reason people are perplexed and even upset. Maybe a little too much reality, maybe some people want the singing in the fire, I don't know. But I'm convinced that the book of her quotes that John and I have on our shelf would be pretty one dimensional if they came from a woman who had a spotless faith and a gleaming halo. Instead, her words reveal an insight and sincerity that would be impossible without some pretty intense searching and questioning.
I'm not sure exactly how all these letters came out, or why, I haven't followed it that much. I'm guessing it wasn't to encourage the doubting or shed light on Mother Theresa's depth and complexity. And as much as it exposes her most private thoughts, which just seems wrong, I hope that in the end it will inspire and deepen the respect that others feel towards her; a woman who dedicated her life to loving the unloved in spite of her inner turmoil and conflict. Maybe because of it. Without constant assurance of a reward, or even the reward of those she was helping. Without the simplicity of following black and white commandments. A woman of material simplicity, it appears there was nothing simple about her soul. And I love her all the more because of that.
Ang
Monday, August 20, 2007
Uganda, Afghanistan, Calgary. . .
My inlaws are in town, which don't get me wrong, is great, but I thought I'd step away from them and write a bit. If you haven't figured it out yet, I write in order to work stuff out. Here's what's been on my mind as of late.
For one, I've been keeping up with my good buddies Ty, Kori and Kris as they experience Uganda. If you haven't done so yourself I highly recommend you do. Exciting, Inspiring and Engrossing stuff. In fact, as I read, specifically the stuff related to thier mission not poop, I can't help but wonder if there is anything of significance I have ever done. Please let me question, I'm not looking for reassurance here, just wondering out loud. I realize ministering to a Calgarian and a Ugandan is the same in terms of importance, 2 human beings, but still I read their reports and I feel this incredible burden that what their doing is so needed yet here I am just tinkering around in Calgary doing God knows what with teenagers who may or may not be benefiting.
I've also been reading this book called Three Cups of Tea. Its a true story and wowwee its been working overtime on me. This guy named Greg set out to climb K2 only to get lost and disoriented until the day he wondered into an indigeneous village in Afghanistan and collapsed. When he awoke he was being cared for by what would turn out to be the most remarkable people he had ever met. In fact, Greg was the first outsider to the village in a couple hundred years. The people nursed him back to health and Greg quickly realized that they were as poor as they were generous - which demands a second read. The children in the village had no school yet they met faithfully every day in a dirt field where the only person who wasn't completely illiterate would attempt to teach them. The day Greg left he vowed he'd be back to build them a school. That's what I've read up too. A quick glance of the back of the book will tell you that Greg did indeed return. Anyways, having just read The Kite Runner my mind was already stuck in Afghanistan so this book has just kept me there.
Friends bringing joy to hundreds of Ugandan children. A mountain climber making promises to indigenous people in Afghanistan. A minister in Calgary distracted by these things whilst his family cries out for the 5th time that "its time to play Trivial Pursuit." The minister stops his thinking and goes.
John
For one, I've been keeping up with my good buddies Ty, Kori and Kris as they experience Uganda. If you haven't done so yourself I highly recommend you do. Exciting, Inspiring and Engrossing stuff. In fact, as I read, specifically the stuff related to thier mission not poop, I can't help but wonder if there is anything of significance I have ever done. Please let me question, I'm not looking for reassurance here, just wondering out loud. I realize ministering to a Calgarian and a Ugandan is the same in terms of importance, 2 human beings, but still I read their reports and I feel this incredible burden that what their doing is so needed yet here I am just tinkering around in Calgary doing God knows what with teenagers who may or may not be benefiting.
I've also been reading this book called Three Cups of Tea. Its a true story and wowwee its been working overtime on me. This guy named Greg set out to climb K2 only to get lost and disoriented until the day he wondered into an indigeneous village in Afghanistan and collapsed. When he awoke he was being cared for by what would turn out to be the most remarkable people he had ever met. In fact, Greg was the first outsider to the village in a couple hundred years. The people nursed him back to health and Greg quickly realized that they were as poor as they were generous - which demands a second read. The children in the village had no school yet they met faithfully every day in a dirt field where the only person who wasn't completely illiterate would attempt to teach them. The day Greg left he vowed he'd be back to build them a school. That's what I've read up too. A quick glance of the back of the book will tell you that Greg did indeed return. Anyways, having just read The Kite Runner my mind was already stuck in Afghanistan so this book has just kept me there.
Friends bringing joy to hundreds of Ugandan children. A mountain climber making promises to indigenous people in Afghanistan. A minister in Calgary distracted by these things whilst his family cries out for the 5th time that "its time to play Trivial Pursuit." The minister stops his thinking and goes.
John
Thursday, August 16, 2007
10 years ago
10 years ago today I married the only woman who said yes when I asked her to marry me. Angela Fern Ellis is the greatest thing to happen to me and no words can describe one so lovely as her. Still, I'm gonna try cause words is all I got.
I met Angie in the Fall of 95. At the time I was single and thought I had seen all WCC had to offer. That sounds a lot worse than I meant it. I guess that's why when I saw Angie for the first time I was intrigued. Who is this girl that nobody knows? I spent my entire life growing up at WCC and I knew everybody including everybody's parents and grandparents. I didn't know Angie though, she was an outsider to the ways of the WCC and I liked that. A lot.
Over the next few weeks I did everything to get Angie to notice me. I ran fast, shot out my best zingers in class and even shared my Jalepeno/Cheddar chips. Apparently it worked because before I knew it she was sitting beside me every Thursday night in Psychology class. As interesting as the class was *cough, gag* I took my chances studying Angie instead. We would write notes back and forth and back and forth and back and - you get the picture. For 3 hours we did this, it was great. In fact, it was crucial. Without it, I might just be writing about someone else. That sounds a lot worse than I meant it.
October rolled around and the College announced we'd be taking a trip to Abilene, Texas for the World Mission Workshop. I signed up right away and soon discovered Angie had signed up too. 24 hours in the van for two days straight pretty much cemented our relationship. We talked nonstop about everything and anything and by the time we arrived in Texas we were in love. We attended all the same sessions and although I'm sure they were terrific all I can remember is my fluttering heart, sweaty palms and dry mouth. On the way back to Dauphin I held her hand for the first time and our relationship became official. Halloween morning, 1995.
Over the next year our relationship grew and by the next October we had signed up to attend the next WMW trip. Its a good thing we did because I asked her to spend the rest of her life with me on that trip. I was a starving student so I gave her a ring compliments of those .25 machines in Walmart. (Later I cashed my entire A&W paycheque and gave her a real one.)
I even got down on one knee and she cried and I know it sounds really romantic but it kinda wasn't, ha ha, another story for another time. The important thing is she said yes and I said "really?" Ha Ha.
Fast forward 10 months and there we were in the nicest church in Dauphin waiting to get married. I remember walking in wondering why nobody had stood for me, just kidding, and then standing on the stage awaiting my bride. That's the longest wait I've ever had. It kinda sucks having to wait as five other girls walk down the aisle first. Five girls I have no interest in marrying. That sounds a lot worse than I meant. . .actually no, I did mean it that way. I think the girls should just come in the back or be lowered in from the roof or something. Save the aisle for the bride.
Anyways, the moment finally arrived. The doors to the church opened letting in sunlight and doves, ok no doves but there should have been, and then in walked the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen. I still tear up as I remember this angel in white coming towards me. I remember crying without my permission. I couldn't help it. She was enchanting. She was mine. And she always would be.
I have told Angie many times that she is everything I always wanted but didn't know it at the time. She has always exceeded any and all expectations of mine adding to the profound gratefulness I feel because of her. Many times I shake my head wondering what she sees in a gas filled silly boy like me. I've ruled out money and good looks.
In many ways our first decade of marriage was more about me and my life then hers. After all it was I who went to school and it was I who moved the family to Calgary to take the job I was given. As I look towards our second decade I see a change. I see myself stepping back as Angie steps forward. I see myself flickering in the background as Angie shines bright. I see a man supporting his wife as she deserves to be supported. I see a husband overwhelmed with pride for a woman who's mmm so good.
Without Angie I would be lost. Unbearably lost. She holds me together and keeps me there.
I love her more than words. . . plus she's incredibly sexy. Smoking hot really.
That sounds just like I meant it.
Happy Anniversary babes.
John
I met Angie in the Fall of 95. At the time I was single and thought I had seen all WCC had to offer. That sounds a lot worse than I meant it. I guess that's why when I saw Angie for the first time I was intrigued. Who is this girl that nobody knows? I spent my entire life growing up at WCC and I knew everybody including everybody's parents and grandparents. I didn't know Angie though, she was an outsider to the ways of the WCC and I liked that. A lot.
Over the next few weeks I did everything to get Angie to notice me. I ran fast, shot out my best zingers in class and even shared my Jalepeno/Cheddar chips. Apparently it worked because before I knew it she was sitting beside me every Thursday night in Psychology class. As interesting as the class was *cough, gag* I took my chances studying Angie instead. We would write notes back and forth and back and forth and back and - you get the picture. For 3 hours we did this, it was great. In fact, it was crucial. Without it, I might just be writing about someone else. That sounds a lot worse than I meant it.
October rolled around and the College announced we'd be taking a trip to Abilene, Texas for the World Mission Workshop. I signed up right away and soon discovered Angie had signed up too. 24 hours in the van for two days straight pretty much cemented our relationship. We talked nonstop about everything and anything and by the time we arrived in Texas we were in love. We attended all the same sessions and although I'm sure they were terrific all I can remember is my fluttering heart, sweaty palms and dry mouth. On the way back to Dauphin I held her hand for the first time and our relationship became official. Halloween morning, 1995.
Over the next year our relationship grew and by the next October we had signed up to attend the next WMW trip. Its a good thing we did because I asked her to spend the rest of her life with me on that trip. I was a starving student so I gave her a ring compliments of those .25 machines in Walmart. (Later I cashed my entire A&W paycheque and gave her a real one.)
I even got down on one knee and she cried and I know it sounds really romantic but it kinda wasn't, ha ha, another story for another time. The important thing is she said yes and I said "really?" Ha Ha.
Fast forward 10 months and there we were in the nicest church in Dauphin waiting to get married. I remember walking in wondering why nobody had stood for me, just kidding, and then standing on the stage awaiting my bride. That's the longest wait I've ever had. It kinda sucks having to wait as five other girls walk down the aisle first. Five girls I have no interest in marrying. That sounds a lot worse than I meant. . .actually no, I did mean it that way. I think the girls should just come in the back or be lowered in from the roof or something. Save the aisle for the bride.
Anyways, the moment finally arrived. The doors to the church opened letting in sunlight and doves, ok no doves but there should have been, and then in walked the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen. I still tear up as I remember this angel in white coming towards me. I remember crying without my permission. I couldn't help it. She was enchanting. She was mine. And she always would be.
I have told Angie many times that she is everything I always wanted but didn't know it at the time. She has always exceeded any and all expectations of mine adding to the profound gratefulness I feel because of her. Many times I shake my head wondering what she sees in a gas filled silly boy like me. I've ruled out money and good looks.
In many ways our first decade of marriage was more about me and my life then hers. After all it was I who went to school and it was I who moved the family to Calgary to take the job I was given. As I look towards our second decade I see a change. I see myself stepping back as Angie steps forward. I see myself flickering in the background as Angie shines bright. I see a man supporting his wife as she deserves to be supported. I see a husband overwhelmed with pride for a woman who's mmm so good.
Without Angie I would be lost. Unbearably lost. She holds me together and keeps me there.
I love her more than words. . . plus she's incredibly sexy. Smoking hot really.
That sounds just like I meant it.
Happy Anniversary babes.
John
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Strengths
I know what you're thinking. Finally a post about me. Perhaps. We shall see.
I had the PLEASURE of attending Willow Creek's Leadership Summit on Thurs and Friday. Bill Hybels is a classy fellow and I have to give him full props. He speaks from the heart and always manages to make inroads into mine. I especially applaud his public admission of his neglection of the poor. There are few men that have more influence in Churchworld then Mr. Bill so to hear him publically declare before 100000 leaders our need to eradicate poverty - well, it was music to my soul.
My Summit highlights were Richard Curtis and Marcus Buckingham although I have to give honorable mention to Colin (prounounced Colon) Powell. I was especially amused to hear a Colon talking about probing the organization. Tee hee. All jokes aside, he was very good too. Definitely didn't stink the place up. Ha ha, oh John, you're too much.
Richard and ol Marcus hit me the hardest though.
Richard Curtis is a film director, producer and writer. In fact he wrote Mr Bean, Notting Hill, Love Actually and Four Weddings and a Funeral so you already know he's funny. On top of that though he is HUGELY involved in the fight to eradicate Poverty which is why he Co founded Make Poverty History as well as Produced Idol Gives back. Through his efforts his has raised Billions of Dollars and mobilized Hundreds of the kind of people with Huge Coin, as well as normal people like me. Anyways, I quite like the guy, especially now, and each day I check the mailbox to see if the life size poster of him has come in. Not really.
As inspiring as Richard Curtis was, Marcus B was my favorite. He wrote the best selling book - Go Put Your Strengths to Work, among other ones. The man is all about the strength, which is humerous, because he's quite skinny and British and very white. Still, he's hilarious and very very smart. I don't recall taking a breath throught the entire hour. I really believe that his stuff if put into practice could be revolutionary. - especially for the 20's crowd. The amazing thing is his stuff is so basic you'd think everyone would already know. His basic premise is - we must live our lives through our strengths. Most of us believe in order to become more successful we must strengthen our weaknesses. Marcus claims we must forget about our weaknesses and instead focus on strengthening our strengths. We are to choose our top 3 and then organize our entire life around them. For instance, if your strength is making people laugh, well you'd probably me, (my other strengths are humility and juggling) - but seriously, if humor is your strength then the theory is you are to use it in everything - vocation, relationships, leadership etc - even reorganize your life to play to your strengths. If you live your life through your strengths all aspects of your life will be stronger, yes, even your weaknesses.
If you don't know your strengths do this. Carry a pad and pen everywhere you go for one week. Every time you do something that you love, write it down. And I mean everything, a job, hobby, conversation, a choice, anything. At the same time everytime you do something you hate, write that down. Chart out the two categories. At the end of your week read them over and your strengths will bubble to the surface, as well as your weaknesses. Pick the top 3 strengths, put them to work and you shall have your revolution. I'm excited to get started.
His book is like a billion pages long and my strength is not summarizing or shortness so I'll stop. Just go read it. If your strength isn't reading, well, cunundrum.
The Summit was a good thing. I'm glad I went.
Before I sign off, I should quickly comment on Bonds.
He broke the record as we all knew he would and I was fortunate enough to see it live on my Tv, no highlights. I must admit, even though I know he's more doped up then a doped up person on dope, when he hit the home run I do believe I jumped up and yelled Whoo Hoo!
I'm not sure why I was so gladened by it especially when it seems so obvious he cheated.
Not sure at all.
Really don't know.
Hmmm.
John
I had the PLEASURE of attending Willow Creek's Leadership Summit on Thurs and Friday. Bill Hybels is a classy fellow and I have to give him full props. He speaks from the heart and always manages to make inroads into mine. I especially applaud his public admission of his neglection of the poor. There are few men that have more influence in Churchworld then Mr. Bill so to hear him publically declare before 100000 leaders our need to eradicate poverty - well, it was music to my soul.
My Summit highlights were Richard Curtis and Marcus Buckingham although I have to give honorable mention to Colin (prounounced Colon) Powell. I was especially amused to hear a Colon talking about probing the organization. Tee hee. All jokes aside, he was very good too. Definitely didn't stink the place up. Ha ha, oh John, you're too much.
Richard and ol Marcus hit me the hardest though.
Richard Curtis is a film director, producer and writer. In fact he wrote Mr Bean, Notting Hill, Love Actually and Four Weddings and a Funeral so you already know he's funny. On top of that though he is HUGELY involved in the fight to eradicate Poverty which is why he Co founded Make Poverty History as well as Produced Idol Gives back. Through his efforts his has raised Billions of Dollars and mobilized Hundreds of the kind of people with Huge Coin, as well as normal people like me. Anyways, I quite like the guy, especially now, and each day I check the mailbox to see if the life size poster of him has come in. Not really.
As inspiring as Richard Curtis was, Marcus B was my favorite. He wrote the best selling book - Go Put Your Strengths to Work, among other ones. The man is all about the strength, which is humerous, because he's quite skinny and British and very white. Still, he's hilarious and very very smart. I don't recall taking a breath throught the entire hour. I really believe that his stuff if put into practice could be revolutionary. - especially for the 20's crowd. The amazing thing is his stuff is so basic you'd think everyone would already know. His basic premise is - we must live our lives through our strengths. Most of us believe in order to become more successful we must strengthen our weaknesses. Marcus claims we must forget about our weaknesses and instead focus on strengthening our strengths. We are to choose our top 3 and then organize our entire life around them. For instance, if your strength is making people laugh, well you'd probably me, (my other strengths are humility and juggling) - but seriously, if humor is your strength then the theory is you are to use it in everything - vocation, relationships, leadership etc - even reorganize your life to play to your strengths. If you live your life through your strengths all aspects of your life will be stronger, yes, even your weaknesses.
If you don't know your strengths do this. Carry a pad and pen everywhere you go for one week. Every time you do something that you love, write it down. And I mean everything, a job, hobby, conversation, a choice, anything. At the same time everytime you do something you hate, write that down. Chart out the two categories. At the end of your week read them over and your strengths will bubble to the surface, as well as your weaknesses. Pick the top 3 strengths, put them to work and you shall have your revolution. I'm excited to get started.
His book is like a billion pages long and my strength is not summarizing or shortness so I'll stop. Just go read it. If your strength isn't reading, well, cunundrum.
The Summit was a good thing. I'm glad I went.
Before I sign off, I should quickly comment on Bonds.
He broke the record as we all knew he would and I was fortunate enough to see it live on my Tv, no highlights. I must admit, even though I know he's more doped up then a doped up person on dope, when he hit the home run I do believe I jumped up and yelled Whoo Hoo!
I'm not sure why I was so gladened by it especially when it seems so obvious he cheated.
Not sure at all.
Really don't know.
Hmmm.
John
Monday, August 06, 2007
My Vacation Post
Ahhh. Such a sweet vacation. I stayed true to my word and spent most of it sitting on my butt in the backyard whilst spitting seeds and gulping coffee. I think I've found my true calling in this world. . One of the books I read was a gem called The Kite Runner. I knew the risk involved in starting a 400 pager especially one of this depth but 36 hours later I was finished, in more ways than one. I'm not one to cry whilst reading a book, Angie does enough of that for the both of us, but this one did me in. That being said, as with all great books it also managed to put me back together again. Themes of injustice and inequality always manage to wreck me but I still seem to come back for more. Perhaps thats not an all together bad thing.
Another book I read was recommended to me by Steve McMillan. It's called "Let your Life Speak." Its about how to discern your vocation by knowing your true self. I know, I know, it sounds like another "one of those" - but it isn't. Very provocative and highly recommended for any of you tredding water in the ocean of career or self. Its already forced me to ask some tough questions. Still awaiting the answers though.
Besides reading, I watched some great movies. Last night, Angie and I saw The Bourne Ultimatum. Already being a fan of both the series and Matt Damon chances were high that it wouldn't disapoint. It was incredible, maybe even the best of the three. Go see it.
I also rewatched The Skeleton Key, Catch me if you Can and a whole lot of Arrested Developement - even funnier the 2nd time.
Ha, if you think I'm the laziest son of a gun alive you'd be right. Although, there's no other way to holiday in my books. That being said, we did get out and do some cool stuff - the best being Drumheller - the dinosaur place/home of Jaydee Bixby, depending which you like more. The dinosaurs were truly amazing, I couldn't hardly believe I was staring face to face with bones 300 million years old - especially since scientists planted them in the ground 200 years ago in order to discredit the bible. Sorry, sometimes the cynicism just leaps out of me.
We also went to the park with the kids and dogs, the highlight there being teaching the kids how to bravely climb a tree then beam with pride as their Dad carves their initials into the same tree. As much as it pains me to say it, we even managed to get some work done including completing reno's began 3 yrs ago - you know how that goes. It felt good to get it done even if I swore I wouldn't lift a finger this week.
I start back to work tomorrow excited and energized to go another round with the teens. This will be my 7th year in youth ministry which makes me 31 and apparently a glutton for punishment. All jokes aside, I am looking forward to this year as we return to Mexico and get even more involved in social justice. I'm also working with the young adults this year which I'm very excited about, the 20 somethings are neat. Unlike that description.
Next time you book "holidays" do yourself a favor and keep to the backyard. It'll soothe your soul.
John
Another book I read was recommended to me by Steve McMillan. It's called "Let your Life Speak." Its about how to discern your vocation by knowing your true self. I know, I know, it sounds like another "one of those" - but it isn't. Very provocative and highly recommended for any of you tredding water in the ocean of career or self. Its already forced me to ask some tough questions. Still awaiting the answers though.
Besides reading, I watched some great movies. Last night, Angie and I saw The Bourne Ultimatum. Already being a fan of both the series and Matt Damon chances were high that it wouldn't disapoint. It was incredible, maybe even the best of the three. Go see it.
I also rewatched The Skeleton Key, Catch me if you Can and a whole lot of Arrested Developement - even funnier the 2nd time.
Ha, if you think I'm the laziest son of a gun alive you'd be right. Although, there's no other way to holiday in my books. That being said, we did get out and do some cool stuff - the best being Drumheller - the dinosaur place/home of Jaydee Bixby, depending which you like more. The dinosaurs were truly amazing, I couldn't hardly believe I was staring face to face with bones 300 million years old - especially since scientists planted them in the ground 200 years ago in order to discredit the bible. Sorry, sometimes the cynicism just leaps out of me.
We also went to the park with the kids and dogs, the highlight there being teaching the kids how to bravely climb a tree then beam with pride as their Dad carves their initials into the same tree. As much as it pains me to say it, we even managed to get some work done including completing reno's began 3 yrs ago - you know how that goes. It felt good to get it done even if I swore I wouldn't lift a finger this week.
I start back to work tomorrow excited and energized to go another round with the teens. This will be my 7th year in youth ministry which makes me 31 and apparently a glutton for punishment. All jokes aside, I am looking forward to this year as we return to Mexico and get even more involved in social justice. I'm also working with the young adults this year which I'm very excited about, the 20 somethings are neat. Unlike that description.
Next time you book "holidays" do yourself a favor and keep to the backyard. It'll soothe your soul.
John
Friday, August 03, 2007
JE$U$
Walmart's coming out with a new line of Bible toys. Scripture quoting Jesus and a few Old Testament characters that did great and wonderful things like Not Being Burned Alive and Having Long Hair (I think they decided against the Samson doll with the bloody donkey's jaw and stained virtue. And the drunk naked Noah, in the cave, with his daughters. Sorry, Noah, that's just grosse. Let's slap on a puffy white beard and stick you in a boat with heart shaped windows. And smiling giraffes. In kid friendly colours. That's more like it, Noah. Smile for the camera.)
I get it. I get that we want good and wholesome toys for our kids. I'm not a Bratz fan, I'm not even a Barbie fan. Even with the New Smaller Boobs and the Career Aspirations. I'm not a big fan of mindless toys that play by themselves, just press the button and watch. So, I get the need for new and different toys on Walmart shelves. But I also get that if someone wants to make a buck, all they have to do is market something to We the Christian Right. Because we like Bible based stuff and mugs with scriptures scrawled across the bottom. Because, apparently, we're the biggest suckers on the planet.
My guess is that the Jesus doll will will sell like mad. People will buy it and tell their fellow church members to buy it, just to show their support to the Makers of the Jesus doll, and before you know it Walmart execs will be rubbing their chins for the next big idea. Bedding (Jesus winking), shower curtains (Jesus with his hands over his eyes), toothpaste (Jesus flashing those pearly whites), interior paint colours (red, brown, blue, yellow- you know the song. The Yellow Coward kitchen paint may not be a hot seller, but it's worth a try), t-shirts (oops, that's been done a million times), food lines (done), travel mugs and candy (done and done).
I don't know. I just want to know what Jesus fed his dog. I want Hugo to have glorious Christian fur and Christian dog breath. Give me a good Dog Bible Verse. Other than the ones that ate Jezebel (although, now that I think of it, that could work as a great name. Jezebits. Clean up the verse a little, make the dogs look cute with cartoon happy eyes, have them frollicking across the bag of food. Jezebel's body could be a minor background blur. Or, just take it out altogether, no one wants to see that, even if she was evil. See how easy? I just made a million dollars.)
Jesus the Cartoon, Jesus the Plastic, Jesus the Corny Lyrics. Jesus the wide grin and white skin, the greatest money maker of our time.
No wonder so many people are looking for the Real Jesus.
Angie
I get it. I get that we want good and wholesome toys for our kids. I'm not a Bratz fan, I'm not even a Barbie fan. Even with the New Smaller Boobs and the Career Aspirations. I'm not a big fan of mindless toys that play by themselves, just press the button and watch. So, I get the need for new and different toys on Walmart shelves. But I also get that if someone wants to make a buck, all they have to do is market something to We the Christian Right. Because we like Bible based stuff and mugs with scriptures scrawled across the bottom. Because, apparently, we're the biggest suckers on the planet.
My guess is that the Jesus doll will will sell like mad. People will buy it and tell their fellow church members to buy it, just to show their support to the Makers of the Jesus doll, and before you know it Walmart execs will be rubbing their chins for the next big idea. Bedding (Jesus winking), shower curtains (Jesus with his hands over his eyes), toothpaste (Jesus flashing those pearly whites), interior paint colours (red, brown, blue, yellow- you know the song. The Yellow Coward kitchen paint may not be a hot seller, but it's worth a try), t-shirts (oops, that's been done a million times), food lines (done), travel mugs and candy (done and done).
I don't know. I just want to know what Jesus fed his dog. I want Hugo to have glorious Christian fur and Christian dog breath. Give me a good Dog Bible Verse. Other than the ones that ate Jezebel (although, now that I think of it, that could work as a great name. Jezebits. Clean up the verse a little, make the dogs look cute with cartoon happy eyes, have them frollicking across the bag of food. Jezebel's body could be a minor background blur. Or, just take it out altogether, no one wants to see that, even if she was evil. See how easy? I just made a million dollars.)
Jesus the Cartoon, Jesus the Plastic, Jesus the Corny Lyrics. Jesus the wide grin and white skin, the greatest money maker of our time.
No wonder so many people are looking for the Real Jesus.
Angie
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Penner (not Fred)
Note: If you're not a hockey fan, this post will most likely read in Sudanese. Ok. You've been warned.
Well - Special K has done the unthinkable. He's poached a penner from Walt's team. I'm sure some of you (Mark, Steve, Nick, Todd, Tim, Benj) are awaiting my reaction. Await no longer.
If I'm honest, which I am as long as it insures my happiness, most likely I'd be critical of any manager if he pulled off what Lowe just did. For one, it does reek of desperation. Nobody wants to come to Deadmonton (sigh) so Lowe is forced to beg, plead and yes even poach players from any and all teams. Although I say forced, I don't believe his job is in jeopardy, as many critics have said, if anything, he's just trying to keep his team from it. Note: Not jeopardy the popular game show. What is my game show? Shut up Alex.
Personally, I think Lowe should be admired for having the cajungas to do the unpopular thing in order to help his team. Make no mistakes, by signing Penner, Edmonton is a better team. Is it a much better team? Only time will tell. This time next year, we'll either be hailing Lowe as a tremendous success or a fantastic failture. Still, I do realize that some of you think that Lowe should be fired or at least made fun of every day till Christmas. If you must, go ahead and throw the pies, just so you know - Kevin couldn't care less.
For one thing, he's done nothing wrong. Thanks to the new CBA, offer sheets are completely legitimate. There's nothing illegal or wrong about it. The problem everyone has with this is by doing it, Kevin has opened Pandora's box and as we all know, similar things are likely to follow. Kevin knows this but doesn't care. As he's said, he's not in the business to make bff's with the other managers, but rather defeat them come playoff time.
The other issue everyone has, especially Burke, is that Kevin has offered an inflated contract to an unproven player. 4.5 million/5yrs. He may be right, although as I've said, time will tell. While we're on this though, who is Brian to talk, he just signed Break your neck Bertuzzi to a 4 million/yr contract even though Todd's 31 and definitely on the downward slope. Plus, he's no where near the same player pre-Moore. Meanwhile, Penner is only 23 and just won a Stanley Cup. Plus he just scored 29 goals to Bertuzzi's 2. Yes Bert was hurt but still. . .
If you ask me, Burke's only hot because when Lowe called, all he had was a pair of 3's.
Would I be angry if someone did this to the Oilers? Yeah, probably. But lets cross that bridge when we come to it.
In the meantime, if its ok with you, I'm gonna go ahead and enjoy this knowing the Oilers are better off and Burke's temper will eventually subside - as it always does.
Besides, all that counts is next year's W's and that is much too far away to even think about.
Loving the hockey talk amidst the heat wave.
John
Well - Special K has done the unthinkable. He's poached a penner from Walt's team. I'm sure some of you (Mark, Steve, Nick, Todd, Tim, Benj) are awaiting my reaction. Await no longer.
If I'm honest, which I am as long as it insures my happiness, most likely I'd be critical of any manager if he pulled off what Lowe just did. For one, it does reek of desperation. Nobody wants to come to Deadmonton (sigh) so Lowe is forced to beg, plead and yes even poach players from any and all teams. Although I say forced, I don't believe his job is in jeopardy, as many critics have said, if anything, he's just trying to keep his team from it. Note: Not jeopardy the popular game show. What is my game show? Shut up Alex.
Personally, I think Lowe should be admired for having the cajungas to do the unpopular thing in order to help his team. Make no mistakes, by signing Penner, Edmonton is a better team. Is it a much better team? Only time will tell. This time next year, we'll either be hailing Lowe as a tremendous success or a fantastic failture. Still, I do realize that some of you think that Lowe should be fired or at least made fun of every day till Christmas. If you must, go ahead and throw the pies, just so you know - Kevin couldn't care less.
For one thing, he's done nothing wrong. Thanks to the new CBA, offer sheets are completely legitimate. There's nothing illegal or wrong about it. The problem everyone has with this is by doing it, Kevin has opened Pandora's box and as we all know, similar things are likely to follow. Kevin knows this but doesn't care. As he's said, he's not in the business to make bff's with the other managers, but rather defeat them come playoff time.
The other issue everyone has, especially Burke, is that Kevin has offered an inflated contract to an unproven player. 4.5 million/5yrs. He may be right, although as I've said, time will tell. While we're on this though, who is Brian to talk, he just signed Break your neck Bertuzzi to a 4 million/yr contract even though Todd's 31 and definitely on the downward slope. Plus, he's no where near the same player pre-Moore. Meanwhile, Penner is only 23 and just won a Stanley Cup. Plus he just scored 29 goals to Bertuzzi's 2. Yes Bert was hurt but still. . .
If you ask me, Burke's only hot because when Lowe called, all he had was a pair of 3's.
Would I be angry if someone did this to the Oilers? Yeah, probably. But lets cross that bridge when we come to it.
In the meantime, if its ok with you, I'm gonna go ahead and enjoy this knowing the Oilers are better off and Burke's temper will eventually subside - as it always does.
Besides, all that counts is next year's W's and that is much too far away to even think about.
Loving the hockey talk amidst the heat wave.
John
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
African Choir
Two days ago I was moved to tears as 26 children from Uganda stole my heart. And it wasn't just their dancing or singing that did me in, it was them. I have never met more respectful, alive, imaginative or joyful children. They know what it means to live. Perhaps its because they have experienced the other side - having grown up in extreme poverty as well as losing parents to Aids. When you're used to death and are given life, everything changes. That change was evident on Sunday as the kids sang and danced as they were free. Imagine if we did the same?
Our friend, Uncle Dave, has the honor of leading these kids every day. It was amazing seeing Dave in action. After 9 months on the road, one might tire of 26 kids, yet there was Dave doling out airplane rides like it was the very first time. When he wasn't super fun man he was standing on stage pooring out his heart for justice, the poor and especially his kids.
Its people like Dave and the kids in his choir that remind us of our call as humans.
We are to Live our lives.
John
Our friend, Uncle Dave, has the honor of leading these kids every day. It was amazing seeing Dave in action. After 9 months on the road, one might tire of 26 kids, yet there was Dave doling out airplane rides like it was the very first time. When he wasn't super fun man he was standing on stage pooring out his heart for justice, the poor and especially his kids.
Its people like Dave and the kids in his choir that remind us of our call as humans.
We are to Live our lives.
John
Friday, July 27, 2007
Too Famous
Has there ever been a week with so many famous people in trouble? Gees Lindsay. Is your life really so tough that you not only need to drink and drive you need to snort and drive too? I'm not a fan, but still, I thought she was kinda innocent and sweet. Now I just realize she's just too famous for her own good. Speaking of fame, Ms. Spears has yet to recover from hers - you're right Britanny bald and crazy is the new pink. And then there's Nicole Richie, the daughter of the man in the mirror and ex bff of Paris. Another DUI today. Personally, I think she's always drunk but they just test her when she's driving. They should test her at 10am on a Sunday morning. I'm guessing the breathlizer would disintegrate.
And then there's Ms. Duff. To be honest, I've been waiting like Ethan right before freezee time to hear the day she finally goes off the deep end. So far, she's managed to stay fairly sane, that is, until this morning. I just read she's now sucking face with Mike Comrie, a former Oiler. Why Hilary why, you were doing so well. You can suck face with anyone in the world yet you choose a spoiled baby who sat out a year because 2 mil just wasn't enough. I guess its better then snorting while you drive.
Moving on from the chicks we end up at Michael Vick. Arguably the most top rated disapointent in the history of the NFL. Sure he managed to sell a lot of stuff with his name printed on the back but he never actually became the quarterback we all hoped. So, what does one do when you've disapointed everyone you know? Well, apparently you take up dog fighting. That's right, if you can't fight the blitz you might as well fight the bulls. He's even taken his dogs cross country. Well, the doggy doo hit the fan this week and he won't be doing that again for a very long time, at least til next month, especially when he convinces Johnnie to do one last tapdance. Stay away from OJ, that stuff will kill you. Will not, the bloodly glove was a bananna peel.
- Johnnie
Rasmussen. Kicked out of the Tour de France for surprise surprise, lying and cheating? Who cheats in a bicyle race? Poor guy, he was expected to win it all, and was in the lead - but now he's got nothing - except the pride that comes from wearing pants that no longer displays your package.
And finally, our good friend Mr. Bonds. Only 2 pops away from breaking the most hallowed record in all of baseball and yet nobody cares. In fact, Bud himself has made it painfully clear that he would rather race in the Tour then watch Barry break Hank's heart. Still, he attends each game, as all diplomats should. As much as I have admired Bonds over the past 5 years I know he's gotta be more doped up then that dude from Knocked Up. There's no way Barry can put on 75lbs of tone and hit 73 Jacks in his forties unless he's syringing his way to the top. Still, he'll have his 756.
After a week like this I wonder what our 9-19 yr olds think as they watch their role models lie, cheat and dope their way to the top?
Hopefully they see them for what they are. Too famous for their own good.
John
P.S. Now for your warm fuzzy. The African Children's Choir is performing at our church this Sunday morning, 930 and 11am. Yes, they are the same group who just last month, inspired us on American Idol and the Tonight Show. As famous as these kids are, they're different then the above hacks, they're famous for somebody else's good. Speaking of good, our friend Mr. Turner leads them in this mission. Can't wait to hear all his stories.
And then there's Ms. Duff. To be honest, I've been waiting like Ethan right before freezee time to hear the day she finally goes off the deep end. So far, she's managed to stay fairly sane, that is, until this morning. I just read she's now sucking face with Mike Comrie, a former Oiler. Why Hilary why, you were doing so well. You can suck face with anyone in the world yet you choose a spoiled baby who sat out a year because 2 mil just wasn't enough. I guess its better then snorting while you drive.
Moving on from the chicks we end up at Michael Vick. Arguably the most top rated disapointent in the history of the NFL. Sure he managed to sell a lot of stuff with his name printed on the back but he never actually became the quarterback we all hoped. So, what does one do when you've disapointed everyone you know? Well, apparently you take up dog fighting. That's right, if you can't fight the blitz you might as well fight the bulls. He's even taken his dogs cross country. Well, the doggy doo hit the fan this week and he won't be doing that again for a very long time, at least til next month, especially when he convinces Johnnie to do one last tapdance. Stay away from OJ, that stuff will kill you. Will not, the bloodly glove was a bananna peel.
- Johnnie
Rasmussen. Kicked out of the Tour de France for surprise surprise, lying and cheating? Who cheats in a bicyle race? Poor guy, he was expected to win it all, and was in the lead - but now he's got nothing - except the pride that comes from wearing pants that no longer displays your package.
And finally, our good friend Mr. Bonds. Only 2 pops away from breaking the most hallowed record in all of baseball and yet nobody cares. In fact, Bud himself has made it painfully clear that he would rather race in the Tour then watch Barry break Hank's heart. Still, he attends each game, as all diplomats should. As much as I have admired Bonds over the past 5 years I know he's gotta be more doped up then that dude from Knocked Up. There's no way Barry can put on 75lbs of tone and hit 73 Jacks in his forties unless he's syringing his way to the top. Still, he'll have his 756.
After a week like this I wonder what our 9-19 yr olds think as they watch their role models lie, cheat and dope their way to the top?
Hopefully they see them for what they are. Too famous for their own good.
John
P.S. Now for your warm fuzzy. The African Children's Choir is performing at our church this Sunday morning, 930 and 11am. Yes, they are the same group who just last month, inspired us on American Idol and the Tonight Show. As famous as these kids are, they're different then the above hacks, they're famous for somebody else's good. Speaking of good, our friend Mr. Turner leads them in this mission. Can't wait to hear all his stories.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
My Ode
July 18th dropped by today, had some coffee, and is about to leave as quickly as it came. The entire summer has been like this. I remember thinking as crazy June neared its end "man, I can't wait for July, lots of time for reading good books, enjoying nature, camping, relaxing." Hasn't happened. Instead we've attended funerals, entertained parents/inlaws and started a paper route that gets us up at 440am during the week and 6am on weekends. On top of that, we've endured scorching temperatures which makes us want to stay inside our non air conditioned house which yeh, you can guess how much better that is. That being said, I had a good friend tell me the other day that sometimes I sound like a grouchy old man so let me change gears.
I wanted to do this 2 days ago but I was ill so today will have to do. Alexa turned five two days back. Five. The disconcerting thing about that is, its just not possible. There's no way that my youngest has now passed the toddler threshold. How old's your youngest John? Five. Yeesh. If my youngest is five, that makes my oldest. . .9. July 31. Not only that but on that same day my wife slides into her thirties. I can't believe I have a wife in her thirties. 31 is very different then 30 you know. 30 you're still flirting with the twenties but once you're 31 you've passed the point of no return. You free falling towards 4o. Flying more like it. And if my wife is flying towards 40 so am I. 6 days later. August 5. So here we are, flying towards 40 in a non air conditioned house. Crap, still stuck in grouchy gear. Ok, shifting gears. For real.
Alexa just turned 5 years young, man that's young, she might as well be 2. Man I feel young. Angie claims she's daddie's little girl, translation: she's spoiled. I don't know, maybe a bit, but I like to think I spank her just as hard and often as the others. Still, my youngest did just say sianarra to her toddler years so as her father I think its my responsibility to give her - her due props. So here's my Alexa Ode. Note: Unlike most Christian music, this ode won't rhyme and chances are I won't repeat the same line 17 times.
Alexa. She's the besta.
Just kidding.
An Ode to Alexa Cate
Alexa Cate. Did you know I chose your name? Sure did. Your mom didn't like it but I always knew it had to be yours. She finally agreed when she heard it with Cate. If fact, she said they sounded beautiful together. Beautiful.
Like your eyes. Oceans of blue. Your freckles. Divine marks.. Your laugh. The perfect note. Your tummy, ha ha, did you know you used to have a pot? You ate like a bird but you had a beer gut. The gut's gone now, which is good cuz I don't imagine you'd find that joke funny if you were 14. Although you might have, you've always danced to your own beat.
Like the time we were eating at The House of Thai. As we finished our meal we looked up and found you standing with your eyes closed, arms extended in the air and your entire body swaying to the music of Asian culture. You were so entranced by the music and dance you didn't bother to notice your brother and sister's pointed laughs and your parent's desperation not to do the same. That was the first time I knew you'd always be yourself.
I guess that's what I love most. You have always been ok with being yourself. Even if that self wears the oddest combination of clothes, dances in the strangest of places, laughs at the most unsual things and loves a cat more than any human should.
You are a free spirit living each day as it was meant to be lived - Reckless joy.
Reckless joy. Much better than Grouchy old man.
I love you Zesa.
Daddy
I wanted to do this 2 days ago but I was ill so today will have to do. Alexa turned five two days back. Five. The disconcerting thing about that is, its just not possible. There's no way that my youngest has now passed the toddler threshold. How old's your youngest John? Five. Yeesh. If my youngest is five, that makes my oldest. . .9. July 31. Not only that but on that same day my wife slides into her thirties. I can't believe I have a wife in her thirties. 31 is very different then 30 you know. 30 you're still flirting with the twenties but once you're 31 you've passed the point of no return. You free falling towards 4o. Flying more like it. And if my wife is flying towards 40 so am I. 6 days later. August 5. So here we are, flying towards 40 in a non air conditioned house. Crap, still stuck in grouchy gear. Ok, shifting gears. For real.
Alexa just turned 5 years young, man that's young, she might as well be 2. Man I feel young. Angie claims she's daddie's little girl, translation: she's spoiled. I don't know, maybe a bit, but I like to think I spank her just as hard and often as the others. Still, my youngest did just say sianarra to her toddler years so as her father I think its my responsibility to give her - her due props. So here's my Alexa Ode. Note: Unlike most Christian music, this ode won't rhyme and chances are I won't repeat the same line 17 times.
Alexa. She's the besta.
Just kidding.
An Ode to Alexa Cate
Alexa Cate. Did you know I chose your name? Sure did. Your mom didn't like it but I always knew it had to be yours. She finally agreed when she heard it with Cate. If fact, she said they sounded beautiful together. Beautiful.
Like your eyes. Oceans of blue. Your freckles. Divine marks.. Your laugh. The perfect note. Your tummy, ha ha, did you know you used to have a pot? You ate like a bird but you had a beer gut. The gut's gone now, which is good cuz I don't imagine you'd find that joke funny if you were 14. Although you might have, you've always danced to your own beat.
Like the time we were eating at The House of Thai. As we finished our meal we looked up and found you standing with your eyes closed, arms extended in the air and your entire body swaying to the music of Asian culture. You were so entranced by the music and dance you didn't bother to notice your brother and sister's pointed laughs and your parent's desperation not to do the same. That was the first time I knew you'd always be yourself.
I guess that's what I love most. You have always been ok with being yourself. Even if that self wears the oddest combination of clothes, dances in the strangest of places, laughs at the most unsual things and loves a cat more than any human should.
You are a free spirit living each day as it was meant to be lived - Reckless joy.
Reckless joy. Much better than Grouchy old man.
I love you Zesa.
Daddy
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Stabbings
Last night, 3 men and 2 woman were stabbed in Calgary. While it looks like 4 of them will recover, one of the women died. Apparently it was the work of a gang of 5 armed men. The stabbings occured between 4-5am while my wife delivered the same paper that carried the story. As I've thought about this today I've felt everything from fear for my wife's safety and intense anger towards the five cowards. Anyways, I wrote out my feelings and sent them to the Calgary Herald. Although I feel a bit better, the woman's family needs our prayers. Here's the letter I sent to the editor.
Like you, I was horrified by the senseless stabbings of Wednesday night. While most of us slept or battled Stampede hangovers, five armed men sped across our city stabbing our neighbors. Police will now spend the next several days trying to discover the identity of these cowards.
I always thought gangs existed to intimidate other gangs, at the very least, other MEN like them bent on a life of crime. After Wednesday night it appears that gangs are now intent on flexing their muscle against poor defenseless women at 4am, when the rest of us are unable to help. Gang violence is always tragic but when it involves five men killing one woman, the tragic becomes psychotic.
Gang life is a dead end. We've all read the posters. Apparently it is also the way of the coward.
Like you, I was horrified by the senseless stabbings of Wednesday night. While most of us slept or battled Stampede hangovers, five armed men sped across our city stabbing our neighbors. Police will now spend the next several days trying to discover the identity of these cowards.
I always thought gangs existed to intimidate other gangs, at the very least, other MEN like them bent on a life of crime. After Wednesday night it appears that gangs are now intent on flexing their muscle against poor defenseless women at 4am, when the rest of us are unable to help. Gang violence is always tragic but when it involves five men killing one woman, the tragic becomes psychotic.
Gang life is a dead end. We've all read the posters. Apparently it is also the way of the coward.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Edmonton Oilers Fans sing O Canada
As an Oiler fan I needed this today. As a hockey fan, perhaps you did too.
Lowe in the grave we lay.
John
Sunday, July 08, 2007
FYI and Cell Phones
I'm not sure why but I'm not a big fan of people who say FYI out loud. As far as I know FYI was invented by some computer hack intent on cutting his online conversation time in half. So to use it in a sentence while speaking to a friend face to face, why, why would we do that? Are we really in that much of a hurry? "I'm having a really great time tonight but do you mind if we speed up the conversation a bit? For instance, while I could say - For your information I started my new job today, imagine if I abbreviated it down to FYI. FYI I started a new job today. That's like a dozen less letters. A dozen! Plus it brings out my hipness.
So. . .if you don't mind. . .
I do mind. Please don't abbreviate in public. It makes you sound like some corporate cell phone talker that loves doing their chatting as loud as they can to insure that everyone around them knows they're starved for attention and just that important. Nobody's too important to abbreviate. Nobody.
Speaking of cell phones, I've tried to go as long as I can without caving but I actually think I finally need one. Sigh. As I've watched all of you operate yours, I've compiled what I call The Cell Phone Musts. There's 10 as far as I know, make sure to tell me if I've missed one.
First, the smaller the better. In fact, if you really care, you'll wear it on your ear. It looks sexy.
Second, if you're a dude, be sure to wear it on your thin black belt. If you're a lady, deep inside your purse or inside your palm.
Third, make sure its from Telus or Rogers. Fido's a dog's name and Bell is a cheap taco place.
Fourth, only text message someone if they're actually in the same room.
Fifth, choose the most annoying ring tone possible. Remember, when you get a call, its not just you who needs to know, everyone needs to know.
Six, don't ever put the phone on vibrate. See rule number 5.
Seven, makes sure your phone is on at all times. Yes, even during weddings, funerals and when you're out at the theatre.
Eight, when the phone rings, first act shocked that someone would have the nerve to call you while you're at a wedding, funeral or the theatre. Then run out quickly whispering as loud as possible.
Nine, when you answer the phone, speak as loudly as possible. How else will we know you're so popular?
Ten, open and close it as often as you can. Who knows, maybe you missed a call.
And finally, never actually answer it. Just leave a cute message, we love that.
Man I'm excited. I'll be soooo cool.
John
So. . .if you don't mind. . .
I do mind. Please don't abbreviate in public. It makes you sound like some corporate cell phone talker that loves doing their chatting as loud as they can to insure that everyone around them knows they're starved for attention and just that important. Nobody's too important to abbreviate. Nobody.
Speaking of cell phones, I've tried to go as long as I can without caving but I actually think I finally need one. Sigh. As I've watched all of you operate yours, I've compiled what I call The Cell Phone Musts. There's 10 as far as I know, make sure to tell me if I've missed one.
First, the smaller the better. In fact, if you really care, you'll wear it on your ear. It looks sexy.
Second, if you're a dude, be sure to wear it on your thin black belt. If you're a lady, deep inside your purse or inside your palm.
Third, make sure its from Telus or Rogers. Fido's a dog's name and Bell is a cheap taco place.
Fourth, only text message someone if they're actually in the same room.
Fifth, choose the most annoying ring tone possible. Remember, when you get a call, its not just you who needs to know, everyone needs to know.
Six, don't ever put the phone on vibrate. See rule number 5.
Seven, makes sure your phone is on at all times. Yes, even during weddings, funerals and when you're out at the theatre.
Eight, when the phone rings, first act shocked that someone would have the nerve to call you while you're at a wedding, funeral or the theatre. Then run out quickly whispering as loud as possible.
Nine, when you answer the phone, speak as loudly as possible. How else will we know you're so popular?
Ten, open and close it as often as you can. Who knows, maybe you missed a call.
And finally, never actually answer it. Just leave a cute message, we love that.
Man I'm excited. I'll be soooo cool.
John
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Marge
Angie and I returned late last night from BC. We were melting along with Chelsey and 75 other Close/Roberts. 37 degrees??? Cmon Salmon Arm, who do you think you are, Phoenix? Anyways, what brought us all together was the passing of Marge Roberts, our mother, sister, grandmother, and Aunt.
I recently read -"you only have one life to live, but if you live it right, one is more than enough." Marge lived hers right. Not only did she raise 6 incredible children - all who have gone on to change the faces of churches across Western Canada, she worked for 20 years changing lives at Western Christian College. She was the kind of lady dreampt about in Proverbs 31. She was Bert's soul mate and my dad's best friend. 5 minutes after she died she stared into the face of God while Bert, her first born Blair and my dad stared back. My dad said she had a noticeable smile, her first in weeks.
I commented to Mark and Blair that Christians are wierd. There we all were, gathered at a funeral to mourn the loss of our Marge yet smiles could be seen and laughter could be heard. Even jokes were told. After the funeral, the entire family - all 65 of us, gathered at the local Chinese Eatery to celebrate. Celebrate? What is wrong with us? Marge died, could you pass the won tons please. But it wasn't like that. This is what Marge would have wanted, was said often. The tension between our grief and relief was obvious.
Christians are wierd. While millions mourn the loss of thier loved ones each year Christians celebrate knowing life has just begun. Grief is for us. We're sad for us. How could we feel sadness for Marge? She's exchanged chronic pain, for chronic joy. Her biggest concern now is who should she talk to first, Mother Theresa or Moses. And what should she ask God? Suppose she only is allowed 3 questions? How will she decide?
Were Mosquitos really necessary?
Will my family be ok without me?
Did you really help Justin Timberlake win his last grammy?
What makes you laugh?
Uh, hey, so, I have this nephew and he really want his Oilers to do well so I was wondering if. . .
I'll miss you Marge. And yes, I'll keep your grandsons in line.
John
I recently read -"you only have one life to live, but if you live it right, one is more than enough." Marge lived hers right. Not only did she raise 6 incredible children - all who have gone on to change the faces of churches across Western Canada, she worked for 20 years changing lives at Western Christian College. She was the kind of lady dreampt about in Proverbs 31. She was Bert's soul mate and my dad's best friend. 5 minutes after she died she stared into the face of God while Bert, her first born Blair and my dad stared back. My dad said she had a noticeable smile, her first in weeks.
I commented to Mark and Blair that Christians are wierd. There we all were, gathered at a funeral to mourn the loss of our Marge yet smiles could be seen and laughter could be heard. Even jokes were told. After the funeral, the entire family - all 65 of us, gathered at the local Chinese Eatery to celebrate. Celebrate? What is wrong with us? Marge died, could you pass the won tons please. But it wasn't like that. This is what Marge would have wanted, was said often. The tension between our grief and relief was obvious.
Christians are wierd. While millions mourn the loss of thier loved ones each year Christians celebrate knowing life has just begun. Grief is for us. We're sad for us. How could we feel sadness for Marge? She's exchanged chronic pain, for chronic joy. Her biggest concern now is who should she talk to first, Mother Theresa or Moses. And what should she ask God? Suppose she only is allowed 3 questions? How will she decide?
Were Mosquitos really necessary?
Will my family be ok without me?
Did you really help Justin Timberlake win his last grammy?
What makes you laugh?
Uh, hey, so, I have this nephew and he really want his Oilers to do well so I was wondering if. . .
I'll miss you Marge. And yes, I'll keep your grandsons in line.
John
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Disgracebook
Holy Hanna. Write one blog slamming Facebook and the next thing I know I'm avoiding dark alleys and staying indoors.
If I made you feel like a moron for liking Facebook, my apologies. I wasn't slamming the entire Book itself, and certainly wasn't slamming you, I was just pointing out that much of Facebook is Fadish cheese that annoys me to no end.
Still, as I've already said, I too have a Facebook account and even check it. I like the fact that I now know where Torrey Willett and Nathan Kirkam, to name a few, are. I like how I can update them on who I am, where I am and what I've done the past decade. That's cool.
But all the other crappidy daily commentary that gets fed to us as news makes me want to stay away forever.
Still, I'm here. So go ahead, Friend Me.
Just don't tell me what you're doing this very minute. I don't care.
John
If I made you feel like a moron for liking Facebook, my apologies. I wasn't slamming the entire Book itself, and certainly wasn't slamming you, I was just pointing out that much of Facebook is Fadish cheese that annoys me to no end.
Still, as I've already said, I too have a Facebook account and even check it. I like the fact that I now know where Torrey Willett and Nathan Kirkam, to name a few, are. I like how I can update them on who I am, where I am and what I've done the past decade. That's cool.
But all the other crappidy daily commentary that gets fed to us as news makes me want to stay away forever.
Still, I'm here. So go ahead, Friend Me.
Just don't tell me what you're doing this very minute. I don't care.
John
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Tyler Mullendore - Canadian Idol June 25, 2007
This guy is the real deal.
Note: I picked him to win it all in his first audition.
Note: Yes John watches Canadian Idol.
Shane Claiborne at Fusion Youth
If you have 50min, and you just might because its the summer, watch this message. Its one of the best I've heard period.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Great New Book
I just started reading this book. I just finished the first chapter and already I know its going to be one of those reads that rocks my comfy world.
Here's my favorite quote from the first chapter. "The gloating Hummer owner may preen with macho pride, unaware or simply uncaring of the fact that he drives an ecological behemoth that saunders fossil fuel resources, pollutes the environment, and make the United States more dependant than ever on foreign oil resources - contributing quite inadvertantly to the justification for Middle East military interventions he otherwise vehemently opposes."
Note: The Hummer was actually created as a vehicle for the military to be used in the deserts of the middle east. Yet. . .everyday on my way to work I pass one roaming the streets of Suburbia.
Makes you wonder a lot of things.
John
Here's my favorite quote from the first chapter. "The gloating Hummer owner may preen with macho pride, unaware or simply uncaring of the fact that he drives an ecological behemoth that saunders fossil fuel resources, pollutes the environment, and make the United States more dependant than ever on foreign oil resources - contributing quite inadvertantly to the justification for Middle East military interventions he otherwise vehemently opposes."
Note: The Hummer was actually created as a vehicle for the military to be used in the deserts of the middle east. Yet. . .everyday on my way to work I pass one roaming the streets of Suburbia.
Makes you wonder a lot of things.
John
Sunday, June 24, 2007
paper boy
Wow. It's been a while. I feel like I'm intruding on someone else's phone conversation or awkwardly sidestepping my way into a cluster of visitors in the church lobby. But then, if I don't blog for a while I feel snotty. Conundrum.
I would like to give a few updates, the first being that the kids are going to school next year. Cool school. Calgary Arts Academy, to be exact. It's arts immersion with no desks, so I was sold. Yes, we're wierd, but wierd people need wierd schools, or they homeschool, and that was great while we did it. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sad about having to miss out on homeschooling next year. Really, I could cry. But Maddie was ready and Alexa will love it and it will be good for Ethan who is surrounded by girls all the time (even our street is full of little girls, not a boy to be seen). But, I'll miss it, and when my friends Hope and Claudia go on their picnics and field trips and zoo days I'll try not to leave jealous, mean spirited messages on their machines.
We went to CAA for a school tour, thinking we would be put on a three year waiting list and for some reason (I'm guessing it had to do with our knock out personalities) the principle gave us the last spots in each of our kids grades. Aside from turning to give John an ecstatic thumbs up but accidentally giving it to the principle instead, and the crying on the way home because I was instantly thrown into jilted mother without a job mode, we're thrilled. I'm not going to mention how John tried to comfort me by suggesting I get a job at Tim Horton's or drive bus. I'm also not going to mention how I responded with all the ways that I supported him while he followed his dreams, including living in Yuppieville, going into debt for his educaton and singing Days of Elijah at church while clapping. That stuff is private, so don't even ask about it. I'm just saying, it's his turn. Nine years, I'm not kidding.
What will I do? No idea. Just guess how scary that is. Possibly some kind of education with debt and maybe several workdays at Starbucks with the laptop and a half sweet white chocolate whipped mocha. What kind of workdays? Don't know. For now, I've got a paper route. No, it's not exactly a step up from wearing the Tim Horton's visor or lurching around the city in a giant yellow bus. But it means I can bring in an actual income and still be at home with Lex every afternoon, and when ever else the kids are off. Plus, the education. The debt. The workdays. We need time for these things.
So, here I am. Thirty, almost thirty-one, pulling my little red wagon down the street every morning at four o'clock, limping because I have a blister, sweating because it's a serious workout or I'm seriously out of shape, soaking wet (it poured for my first two days), tripping (sometimes), wiping out (once when I couldn't see over the stack of papers I was carrying), getting yelled at, stared at, honked at and hitting some green truck's side mirror with my side mirror but there was no damage so who needs to know.
It's a new phase for me, I just hope it doesn't end at papers. I just hope I can find something I love to do and I'm good at. Maybe that's what's so scary. The thought that I won't find that thing, so I'll do papers until I retire at 65 with a little silver plated wagon to put on my mantle. Nothing against silver plated wagons.
And just a little reminder- be nice to your paper person. It's probably an eight year old boy, but even so.
Ang
I would like to give a few updates, the first being that the kids are going to school next year. Cool school. Calgary Arts Academy, to be exact. It's arts immersion with no desks, so I was sold. Yes, we're wierd, but wierd people need wierd schools, or they homeschool, and that was great while we did it. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sad about having to miss out on homeschooling next year. Really, I could cry. But Maddie was ready and Alexa will love it and it will be good for Ethan who is surrounded by girls all the time (even our street is full of little girls, not a boy to be seen). But, I'll miss it, and when my friends Hope and Claudia go on their picnics and field trips and zoo days I'll try not to leave jealous, mean spirited messages on their machines.
We went to CAA for a school tour, thinking we would be put on a three year waiting list and for some reason (I'm guessing it had to do with our knock out personalities) the principle gave us the last spots in each of our kids grades. Aside from turning to give John an ecstatic thumbs up but accidentally giving it to the principle instead, and the crying on the way home because I was instantly thrown into jilted mother without a job mode, we're thrilled. I'm not going to mention how John tried to comfort me by suggesting I get a job at Tim Horton's or drive bus. I'm also not going to mention how I responded with all the ways that I supported him while he followed his dreams, including living in Yuppieville, going into debt for his educaton and singing Days of Elijah at church while clapping. That stuff is private, so don't even ask about it. I'm just saying, it's his turn. Nine years, I'm not kidding.
What will I do? No idea. Just guess how scary that is. Possibly some kind of education with debt and maybe several workdays at Starbucks with the laptop and a half sweet white chocolate whipped mocha. What kind of workdays? Don't know. For now, I've got a paper route. No, it's not exactly a step up from wearing the Tim Horton's visor or lurching around the city in a giant yellow bus. But it means I can bring in an actual income and still be at home with Lex every afternoon, and when ever else the kids are off. Plus, the education. The debt. The workdays. We need time for these things.
So, here I am. Thirty, almost thirty-one, pulling my little red wagon down the street every morning at four o'clock, limping because I have a blister, sweating because it's a serious workout or I'm seriously out of shape, soaking wet (it poured for my first two days), tripping (sometimes), wiping out (once when I couldn't see over the stack of papers I was carrying), getting yelled at, stared at, honked at and hitting some green truck's side mirror with my side mirror but there was no damage so who needs to know.
It's a new phase for me, I just hope it doesn't end at papers. I just hope I can find something I love to do and I'm good at. Maybe that's what's so scary. The thought that I won't find that thing, so I'll do papers until I retire at 65 with a little silver plated wagon to put on my mantle. Nothing against silver plated wagons.
And just a little reminder- be nice to your paper person. It's probably an eight year old boy, but even so.
Ang
Saturday, June 23, 2007
That's it. I've had enough. I tried for a good month to believe Facebook is the best thing since the printing press (why is sliced bread our 'go to' metaphor) but I can't take it any longer. So here's my rip.
Facebook is hokey, cheesy and causes me more nausea then Ben Mulroney.
"John Doe is feeling tired"
"Susie May has left the group Ottawa Senators"
"Jane Smith is now friends with Becky Botsworth."
"Victor Johnson has changed his profile picture"
"June Costello is chillaxing this weekend."
AHHHHHHHHHHH! Have you ever read anything more shallow in your life?
Here's the long and short of it.
Feeling tired? Yawn.
Left the Senators group? Yawn.
Changing your profile picture? Yawn.
Chillaxing this weekend? Gag.
Sorry if I'm stepping on some toes here but my goodness people, must we be reduced to ooey gooey balls of superficiality and cheese in order to stay in touch?
Its time one of us took a stand. I say us because, yes I also have a facebook account. That fact gives me the right to speak into this I think. I joined the thing for one reason - to find long lost friends. And I have. Just yesterday two of my best buddies from high-school found me and that was really cool. That's where Facebook shines.
But all the other useless, irrelevent, moronic "news" deserves to be banned. In fact, I think I'm going to write to the facebook team and suggest that the next time someone informs the world that they're "chillaxing" this weekend, they should feel free to drive to that person's house, confiscate their computer then slap them on the way out.
Now I've probably offended most of you and I'm sure you feel I'm way off so I'm gonna shut-up now. That being said, if you do happen to wonder if its possible that I'm right here's a little experiment you can do.
Next time you talk to your friends Face to Face, hopefully you still do that, look them in the eye and say any one of the following:
"Hey, I changed my profile picture."
"Did you hear, I spent the weekend chillaxing."
"I'm feeling tired, just thought you might want to know."
If your friend doesn't fall into a boredom induced coma then by all means continue.
Regards,
John
Facebook is hokey, cheesy and causes me more nausea then Ben Mulroney.
"John Doe is feeling tired"
"Susie May has left the group Ottawa Senators"
"Jane Smith is now friends with Becky Botsworth."
"Victor Johnson has changed his profile picture"
"June Costello is chillaxing this weekend."
AHHHHHHHHHHH! Have you ever read anything more shallow in your life?
Here's the long and short of it.
Feeling tired? Yawn.
Left the Senators group? Yawn.
Changing your profile picture? Yawn.
Chillaxing this weekend? Gag.
Sorry if I'm stepping on some toes here but my goodness people, must we be reduced to ooey gooey balls of superficiality and cheese in order to stay in touch?
Its time one of us took a stand. I say us because, yes I also have a facebook account. That fact gives me the right to speak into this I think. I joined the thing for one reason - to find long lost friends. And I have. Just yesterday two of my best buddies from high-school found me and that was really cool. That's where Facebook shines.
But all the other useless, irrelevent, moronic "news" deserves to be banned. In fact, I think I'm going to write to the facebook team and suggest that the next time someone informs the world that they're "chillaxing" this weekend, they should feel free to drive to that person's house, confiscate their computer then slap them on the way out.
Now I've probably offended most of you and I'm sure you feel I'm way off so I'm gonna shut-up now. That being said, if you do happen to wonder if its possible that I'm right here's a little experiment you can do.
Next time you talk to your friends Face to Face, hopefully you still do that, look them in the eye and say any one of the following:
"Hey, I changed my profile picture."
"Did you hear, I spent the weekend chillaxing."
"I'm feeling tired, just thought you might want to know."
If your friend doesn't fall into a boredom induced coma then by all means continue.
Regards,
John
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