That's it. I've had enough. I tried for a good month to believe Facebook is the best thing since the printing press (why is sliced bread our 'go to' metaphor) but I can't take it any longer. So here's my rip.
Facebook is hokey, cheesy and causes me more nausea then Ben Mulroney.
"John Doe is feeling tired"
"Susie May has left the group Ottawa Senators"
"Jane Smith is now friends with Becky Botsworth."
"Victor Johnson has changed his profile picture"
"June Costello is chillaxing this weekend."
AHHHHHHHHHHH! Have you ever read anything more shallow in your life?
Here's the long and short of it.
Feeling tired? Yawn.
Left the Senators group? Yawn.
Changing your profile picture? Yawn.
Chillaxing this weekend? Gag.
Sorry if I'm stepping on some toes here but my goodness people, must we be reduced to ooey gooey balls of superficiality and cheese in order to stay in touch?
Its time one of us took a stand. I say us because, yes I also have a facebook account. That fact gives me the right to speak into this I think. I joined the thing for one reason - to find long lost friends. And I have. Just yesterday two of my best buddies from high-school found me and that was really cool. That's where Facebook shines.
But all the other useless, irrelevent, moronic "news" deserves to be banned. In fact, I think I'm going to write to the facebook team and suggest that the next time someone informs the world that they're "chillaxing" this weekend, they should feel free to drive to that person's house, confiscate their computer then slap them on the way out.
Now I've probably offended most of you and I'm sure you feel I'm way off so I'm gonna shut-up now. That being said, if you do happen to wonder if its possible that I'm right here's a little experiment you can do.
Next time you talk to your friends Face to Face, hopefully you still do that, look them in the eye and say any one of the following:
"Hey, I changed my profile picture."
"Did you hear, I spent the weekend chillaxing."
"I'm feeling tired, just thought you might want to know."
If your friend doesn't fall into a boredom induced coma then by all means continue.
Regards,
John
Saturday, June 23, 2007
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7 comments:
haha. that is great. applause for you good sire.
five five five.
I was wondering why you weren't my friend yet. I don't find it real exhilirating either to be honest - although old friends are good to connect with. I found Kirkham a while ago and Torrey found me which was good.
You really have an issue with chillaxing don't you?
Chillaxing...that's relaxing some place where you might catch a chill.
Doesn't sound like much fun to be honest...
p.s. - I just came upon your blog randomly...it's good stuff.
Facebook is starting to become more & more like myspace now with all the stupid applications people are creating for it. That's one of my biggest pet peeves.
But, like you, I've been able to reconnect with friends from high school and a couple of my cousins in Ireland are on it and that's the best part.
p.s: Tell Ang 'never mind'. I was telling her she's got get facebooking!! LOL
I love this John. Yet, I have to reassure you that the very first day "FB" came out with the brilliant idea of the news feed "all ___ broke loose." See, here at the OC we have been addicted to FB for about two years. This news feed just came out last fall, initially without the option of not publishing information about your FB on it. Everyone was mad. Mad enough that the creators had to issue an apology. Anyway, it is kind of annoying, but more annoying when people don't go to their profile and remove the useless information from the news feed options.
ps- I know that I know way too much about the evolution of FB, Jeremy will make fun of me, but I still think it's a more mature myspace. (i remember being told that OC is the top facebook user in a 24 hr period. ha)
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