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I did my part for the environment and braved the -30 something to make the trek to Superstore for some much needed Drano (which totally cancels out my pollution free walk, I know). The kids now know that throwing a full roll of toilet paper into a nice warm bath doesn't make the parents happy. Live and learn, I suppose. John reminded me not to embarass the family as I headed out in my huge puffy layers and huge puffy boots, but it was all worth it because I made him promise to have the fire going and the coffee on for when I got back. Plus all day inside with three kids is fun...to a point. My nose went numb, my eyelashes froze and the icy air burned my lungs, but what can I say, I'm very dedicated to the cause of freeing clogged drains. Even if it means doing the penguin walk to avoid slipping on the road in front of dozens of cars and the awkward half body pivot whenever you need to glance to the side. So I get there and discover a miracle of sorts, and it's called the One Second Plumber. It's my new favourite thing. Works better than Drano and no toxic chemicals, plus it smells good. I can't wait for the next clogged drain, because look out. Seriously, I'm like a walking commercial. John got tired of hearing about that stinking one second plumber already, so here I am. Blogging. One Second Plumber. A bath tub's best friend.

Ang

Act

Hey, it's John again.

Sorry, but I can't wait for to rent it. You need to take action now.

This will get you started!

Go Go Go!

John

An Incovenient Blog

Last night Ang (by the way her name is pronounced ANJ, not ANG, like tang and yes Ang is short for Angie, just in case you were confused or even laughing at my wife's rather awkward name) - anways, last night AnJ and I watched one of the more moving documentaries we've seen in a long long time - An Inconvenient Truth.

Now I pride myself on being a bit of an environmentalist, you know I recycle, make E friendly shopping choices, use transit as much as possible, let the yellow mellow and flush the brown down (too much information John) in fact I even buy recycled toilet paper which come to think of it. . .what is that? Do I even want to know what that is? Recycled doesn't mean already used, does it? Actually that's precisely what it means John. Right. Hmm. Well. Hmm. Right.

Well anways, on top of my E shopping I also figured I understood this whole Global warming thing. Earth's getting warmer. I got it. Yeah right I did.

This documentary moved both Ang and I to tears as we realized, perhaps even for the first time, how quickly we are destroying our planet. Yes we. I'm not going to bore you with all the facts, plus I want you to see it but I will say this.

If we do not change the way we live, millions of lives will be lost in the next 50 years. Now I realize I sound like a sensationalist or worse, hugger of trees, but trust me, I am not. I prefer hugging my wife, she's softer and much more, well lets just leave it at that. Is it hot in here? Anyways, as Roger Ebert said "you owe it to yourself to see this film."

Please watch it then join with us as we take steps to insure that Earth remains a good place to live for our children and theirs.

John

Dave Turner's a Heretic

Dave Turner's a heretic. Obviously. Anyone who raises the question of whether or not truth can be found outside of Christianity must be. Dave shared how the Life of Pi made him think - which is frightening because thinking leads to thoughts which leads to conclusions which leads to choices which may or may not lead to converting to Confucianism. Take a quick glance at the history of Christianity and it'll show that much of it involves Christian leaders killing those who don't agree, or worse, think free. Think about it for a second. I mean, consider it for a second. Jesus died in 30 a.d. give or take 3.14 years and people began to speak of the way of him shortly after that. Hence the NT. Fast forward 300 years and Constantine decides that maybe these Christians aren't so bad after all. Next thing you know the Super Power of the day becomes Christian. The same faith of its leader who they killed only 300 years earlier. Talk about moody. A few days after the big conversion all the heretic's are rounded up and either killed or "inspired" to convert. Pretty soon the world begins to warm up to this new found faith. "Yeh, Christianity is super cool." - 4th century Roman with a blade on his throat. At the same time, the bible comes out which of course legitimizes butchering those who don't agree. Or does it? Hmm, must read again. Anyways, the next 1100 years involves Christians of the Catholic brand dominating the world, killing those who don't agree, especially those pesky Muslims. Its much easier to hate a cousin then a unknown peaceful man from Tibet. At the same time the Catholic Christians are even butchering those other guys, Protestants, heretics, free thinkers. That is until a guy named Luther says that's enough. There is no way you have a monopoly on truth. Here's 95 things I suggest you think about. Suprisingly Luther lived a few years after mainly because most of the world said, wait a second, he's right, we don't have to be told what to believe. We can pursue God on our own. So began the Protestant Reformation, that big boring thing we all slept through in Bible College. It turns out its not boring at all though, but the beginning of humans thinking free and seeking God for God's sake. If that's isn't awesome a few decades later the Printing Press was born and pretty soon bibles were in the hands of nearly everyone, those who could read anyways, which was very few. Meanwhile the Papacy kept its stranglehold on people's minds and truth by refusing to translate the bible into English thus forcing people to listen and nod to Latinspeak for the better part of 300 years. In fact it wasn't until 1965 that Catholic powers said - ok fine, we'll translate it into English, but you gotta calm down. Seriously. Your anger is unchristian.

Back up 200 years and you'll find that people become enlightened. In fact, they were so enligthened they called this time, The age of Enlightenment. During this time people were free to work out their faith except for one thing. . .they must do it this way - literally and factually. (by the way, this way of biblical interpretation is only 200 years old, which you know, is interesting.) This created a whole new kind of domination system. One that said "where the bible speaks, we speak, where the bible is silent, we're silent." In other words, interpret the bible this way. This in turn created a back door oppression, one that still kept people from thinking for themselves and having their own relationship with God. If you're told what to think are you really thinking? So, the good news was people weren't getting butchered anymore but the bad news was their thoughts were still held captive. They were enlightened yet their minds were dark.

But that was then, where are we now?

Well, we're living in an age of Pluralism. Which means, we are no longer just a Christian nation but a Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, etc. nation as well. Some see that as progression. And it is. But there are still more progressions that must come.

I believe we have far to go in our faith, in our quest for who Jesus really was and what he really said. And what that means for us today. I believe we have far to go in our quest for truth. I no longer believe truth can only be found within the 66 books of the bible. This does not mean I no longer believe in truth or the truth in the bible, I believe in it more then ever. I just don't believe the other 3 billion people in the world are Satan's children destined for eternity in hell. I see many of them seeking God, seeking truth, seeking to be a person of goodness with the same or even more passion then me. Have they come to the same conclusions as me? No. Does that mean they're wrong? Not necessarily. Truth can be tricky and appear in the strangest of places and who am I to say only I know where those places are.

Marcus Borg posed a question that I've been chewing on for some time now. "Does it make sense that the creator of the whole universe would be known in only one religious tradition, which fortunately, just happens to be our own."

No, it doesn't make sense. Christianity has had the Monopoly on truth for the past 2000 years but consequently it has also had the monopoly on blood shed, which, to be honest, I find those two things to be strange bed fellows.

So, what are you saying John?

Truth is everywhere. God is too big to be contained in a book or a system of theology which is why he doesn't invite his creation into a religion, he invites us into a relationship. If we pursue that instead of the former perhaps we'll find something More. And that More will change our lives.

WHAT JOHN IS NOT SAYING

- Believe whatever you want
- Christianity is no longer true
- The Bible is no longer our guide
- Catholics are evil. In fact, I feel quite the opposite.
- All religions are the same so fill free to belong to whoever you want
- Rage against authority
- Dave Turner's a Heretic

John

city sidewalks

I've had the odd moment where I thought I might be slowly evolving into a city girl, only to be harshly reminded that, no, I'm a simple girl. I can only pretend that Calgary is just a big small town. We've been to downtown Calgary twice in the past 5 days (I usually avoid these excursions, but who wants to miss the Santa Claus parade? Not me). During these two trips we've had to step around vomit and Starbucks cups (may be handy for the sick man on the go...), pass several homeless people- one with no legs, before being thrust into the busy world of corporate go getters in their fancies, sternly rushing...somewhere. We also got to help a nice church lady unlock the church doors as she explained how it's continuously broken into and vandalized. It was in the public library for our pre-parade bathroom break that the kids and I found 2 girls shooting up- a very nasty and tragic visual of one of them desperately poking and re poking her arm as her syringe filled with blood. As we were informing the front desk she came running and screaming out of the bathroom. Not something I wanted my kids exposed to at the ages of 8, 5 and 4, but it did spawn several lengthy discussions about poisoning your body and your mind.

I had a hard time getting into parade mode. I was trying to figure out what it was that disturbed me so much about what we saw. It wasn't pity or even compassion and it wasn't anger or a sense of innocence lost. It was seeing people who aren't living. Aren't alive. It felt dark and dead. Now my average day does mostly consist of reading to the kids, baking and taking the dog for a walk, and my idea of a night out is going to pottery class, so I'm sure my lack of exposure to these things breeds a certain sensitivity, but...so much loss. Whether it's losing yourself in a world of Versace and ladder climbing or losing yourself to heroin. Or hopelessness. Or anger. Or workaholism. Pride. Depression. Materialsim. Ignorance. It's something I hate about our very rich, very lost city. It's pretty much why I don't race downtown every spare moment I get. If you close your eyes it doesn't exist, right?

I really was going to do a seize the day thing for the gridblog, but you have to write what you feel. Maybe next time!

Ang

disclaimer- I have no idea if Versace is currently worn- the biggest name brand I wear would be Old Navy or last year's hand me downs from stylish friends. Remember- reading, pottery, baking. Not exactly a happening woman of high fashion.

Quote

I was greeted with this quote as I opened up my Covey Daytimer this morning.

"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves."

I'm not sure if I'm as encouraged as I should be.

Must think on it more.

John

Man that's Deep

Some People are like Slinkies
They don't really have a Purpose
But they still bring a smile to your face
When you push them down the stairs.

Note: If you enjoy this twisted brand of humor, as I do, click on Ha Ha Ha down and and to your right.

John

Wierdness

So I'm standing outside a few minutes ago, in the sub zero temperatures with snow cascading all around me when my a voice out of nowhere says - "Quite the snow fall we're having." Now normally I'm all for chatting it up with my neighbor friend but not when I'm in my underwear imploring my dog to go poop. Luckily my underwear is not as high as my fence. Anymore.

If that isn't wierd enough I started a conversation with my neighbor, why I don't know, remember, in my underwear, but as we talked I asked the neighbor what it was that he hauled in his trailer. He has like a 30ft trailer that he leaves parked in front of my house 7 days a week and I'm always wondering what he uses it for. He said "Oh, well we haul lots of stuff. For instance right now I'm hauling a air filtration system to be used in a Marajuana Grow Op."

The punchline never did come.

My neighbor just wished me a good night then strolled back across the street and the next thing I knew I was still outside, in my briefs, wondering what just happened.

At least Hugo pooped.


John

A Shell

This Fall, Ang and I watched two close friends say goodbye to their mother. She was only 55. I have yet to watch a loved one die but seeing our friends do it so beautifully gave me hope that when the time comes, perhaps I will too.

Two weeks before Kellock died I found myself sitting on her bed, listening to her as she explained how she wasn't afraid to die and how she could feel God calling her home.
She could feel God. . .
As I continued to listen I couldn't help but notice her frail body. The Cancer had reduced her body to something like a shell yet. . .she could feel God. And it showed.

Since Kellock's passing I haven't been able to shake that image. Her physical shell. Her spiritual center.

The difficult thing for me has been the recognition that I'm often the opposite. I'm young, healthy and vibrant yet my centre is. . .unwell. I'm still struggling to feel God. Maybe that's why I read so much. Perhaps I'll feel God there. Feel God. What does that even mean? I long for that. Whatever it means. I hate feeling restless, discontent, frustrated. I'm sick of swivel head, always looking for the next thing. Why can't I just stop trying to create my life and instead embrace what God has already created. . .and called good.

The best thing about Kellock was she didn't wait to feel God till she was 55. She learned to feel him many years earlier. That's what I want.

God willing I'll live another 50-60 years. That's too long to go without feeling God. That's much to long to live a shellish life.

*This is the point of the blog where the Pastor wraps everything up with an offering from the Psalms or a winsome ancedote. Sorry folks, today, I got nothing.

John

two more recommendations

1) John and I are reading through this book by Marcus Borg called The Heart of Christianity. I think I mentioned it a few thousand years ago, but John finally informed me that he wasn't going to wait for the slowest reader in the world (that's me). It's very, very good. I've always felt a special kinship to the big M.B. (I'm sure he's cool with me calling him that). He was the first Christian author I read that didn't make me want to run away and join a circus. A circus for crazy I don't fit that mold people. I was going to write a brief summary, but brief would be impossible, plus I suck at summaries. I ramble. And I'm not done it yet. I'll stick to recommending the book to anyone who has some pretty intense questions about their faith and traditional views on Christianity.

2) I don't often watch TV that doesn't involve pressing play on our DVD player, but I did get to see some pretty hilarious Rick Mercer/Ralph Klien horse racing tonight. What a guy, that Rick Mercer. Clever, funny, Canadian. Not that being a clever, funny Yugoslavian would be any less impressive, I just like to cling to every proud of Canada moment I can. I was a smidge disheartened to read that Canada's tourism went down 4.1% last year because we're viewed as boring. Hello- I just wrote a very enthralling article on Christian books and CBC antics. Who exactly are they calling boring? I don't think they're aware of our easter egg. World's largest easter egg.

So, two recommendations- Heart of Christianity, Rick Mercer Report. The news tid bit was for free.

Ang

My Brotha Al

I know its probably totally innapropriate to put a plug in for a family member, unless of course their ridiculously bald but even then don't because it looks horrible and yes, we can tell that's not real hair especially when you were bald as a baby's butter me some bread just the other day. Anyways, my brother Allen, yes I do have a brother, preaches for a fantastic church in South Carolina. And here's the best part. His sermons are availabe free online. Boom Shucka Lucka Shucka Lucka Shucka Luck. In fact, their only a click away. Chicka Chicka.

I'm sure most of you would like nothing more then to hear yet another sermon but still. . Al's got game for schizzle and most times after listening my head is sore from getting hit between the eyes yet again.

Here's the link.

I just listened to "Faithfulness." Anyone seen the Tylenol?

John

P.S. I'm working on a new cooler language, hence the Boom Shucka, Chicka, schizzles. You like? I'm also thinking of getting hair plugs. . .for my back.

Mick Sucks

The Oilers got robbed last night.

Frick Mick!

In other news - how bout those Flames? Yikes. Maybe the Hitmen can spell them off for a few games. . .

John

This

I watched a pre screening of this today. Pastor Perks. It officially comes out December 1.

I felt it could have been much better but still, there were parts that I found touching. Keisha Castle Hughes, mega star of this movie, was very good. Would I recommend that you see it? Sure. It's not a bad movie by any means, I'm just picky, especially with these kinds of movies, and perhaps, a tad cynical. Perhaps.

This post pretty much totally depends on you clicking on this.

If you don't, you'll be unfulfilled.

John

boo

Halloween is so much fun. Not as fun as Christmas, but a close second, that's for sure. The best part is when teenagers ring the doorbell, with their safeway bags held out. Too cool to dress up and way too cool to say trick or treat, but definately not too cool to run around the block with all the tiny sponge bobs and princesses, asking strangers for candy. I like to tell them how cute they look in thier.... shoes and coats, with that....hair, and...those jeans. But, hey. Free candy.

That's not really the best part, just a part I enjoy. The best part, of course, is the chocolate bars. We have enough Coffee Crisps to last me till Christmas. The kids understand that Coffee Crisps are for mom, no questions. They may tease like they're going to eat one in front of me, but we all know that it's just a joke. A risky one, but a joke, none the less.

OK, wait. Better than that is the costumes. Alexa's the easiest one to dress up, because you can convince her that anything looks fantastic. She was a unicorn and she wanted me to paint her face sparkly purple, which, in the end looked more blothcy greyish pink. She was thrilled. The other two have stronger opinions. Ethan's lion face paint was totally out of the question until I made it dark brown. Because we all know lion's have dark brown faces (they don't). Maddie wanted to be a pretty witch (try to pull that off), but thankfully we had those sparkles!

Then there's the scary movie. We watched Candyman which was surprisingly even more disappointing the second time around. Why is it so hard to find a really good scary movie? All the supernatural stuff just doesn't seem to cut it. I get that the Candyman's bitter about his hands being cut off with a rusty hatchet, but a century of murder and torture? Really, a good therapist could do wonders for the poor guy. But, a movie like that is a must on Halloween, and if you don't find it scary you can always make fun of it. That's my motto!

Happy Halloween (belated, I guesse)

Ang