Cynical Sarcastic Pessimistic fun

Realizations often suck. I guess they can be good and all but often its just me coming face to face with me and when that happens I don't always see a nice guy grinning back. Too many times its a cynical, sarcastic, pessimistic jerk. Now you all know this, you've just been too nice to say anything, and while I appreciate that, I still think its time I came clean. The truth is, I may have a problem.

My DISC profile says that I bleed red, meaning I'm an intense not afraid to confront kind of guy. It also says I pee yellow which means I love people to death and am very relational. I guess that's what keeps me from being a total spaz. Still, the red leaks too often. I see things that aren't right and I attack them without allowing my yellow stream to guide me. The worst part is often those things are people and I end up getting it all wrong.

This past Sunday I had the privelage of interviewing Henry Schorr. Hen, as I like to call him but don't because he doesn't have feathers or eggs, is the Senior Pastor for Centre Street Church right here in Calgary. The church is what you'd call a "Mega Church" meaning they have no idea how many people attend. Well, they have some idea, Henry says 7000 weekly and 11000 monthly which makes Centre Street the biggest Church of any kind in Canada. I needed to interview him for a paper I'm doing and he was gracious enough to give up an hour of his time. Ok, I'll be honest, the only reason I wanted to interview him was because 1. I wanted the perspective of a Mega church pastor to balance out my paper 2. I wanted to get the goods on what really goes on in a Mega Church. Tee hee, sneak sneak sneaky. The interview was last Sunday.

When I arrived he was still making his way through the crowds so I waited. . .and waited ended up waiting for 30 minutes but it worked out because I got a book idea: "Munch Munch. Tales from the Consumer Church." I hope it sells tons so the irony runs super thick.

Anyways, Pastor Henry finally showed up and directed me through the maze of cubicles to the Mahogony door securing his office. As I stepped inside there was a Gorilla scarfing down the day's communion crackers. Ok there wasn't but that would have been wierd hey? We began the interview even though my cynical, sarcastic, pessmistic arrogant mind already knew what his bull #?@??@# answers would be. Those answers never came.

As I sat, I listened as this humble, authentic, inspiring man told me of the cancer he had when he was 21 and again when he was 31. He said that cancer made his life great because it helped him see who God is. He told me how, when he was 18, he had the choice between taking over his father's multi million dollar company or becoming a middle to low class Pastor. He chose ministry because how could he ignore God's call in order to become a rich company man.

As he continued to share and as I continued to write I felt ashamed. This man was amazing, no wonder God had entrusted him with so much yet I had sat in my High Chair judging what I did not know and being cynical about things I did not understand. He added to my shame by sharing how he and his wife go on prayer retreats twice a year, just them, and how he takes off the entire summer so he can spend every last moment with his 4 boys. At this point I interjected and said "so is your schedule the rest of the year pretty crazy?" He responded no, he goes home at 5pm because family first right? Uh yeah, right. Wow.

As the interview drew to a close I asked him what he thought the church's social responsibilities were. I already knew what he was going to say. He began to tell me of a secret project he was working on with all the CEO's in the city and how he really shouldn't be sharing this but what the hell, he didn't say hell, I shouldn't have said hell, what the heck he said, I'll share it with you. He told me how they are hoping to buy a huge section of land where they will put a small town for the city's homeless. In this town the citizens will be healed of their addictions, taught life skills to exact change and most of all be given back their dignity . Uh. . .wow, that's pretty good, was all I could manage. Apparantly I had no idea what he was going to say. The mixture of shame and inspiration was too much at that point and the office was much too classy for me to lose it.

I stood up, shook his hand, thanked him for so many things and was on my way. As I strolled back to my car I was struck with the realization that God's kingdom is being built at and through Centre Street Church. 10000 don't attend there just because they have great entertainment, programs, worship, preaching etc. They attend there because they sense what I sensed, they're being led by a man of God.

Since that conversation, I've done a lot of thinking, praying, confessing. Most of all I've done a lot of realizing. God will build his kingdom wherever and with whoever he wants and who am I to stand with my arms crossed, eyes set, and shake my head.

The fact is, I too have been called. I too have a choice. And as much as fun as it is using my Red words to shame the you know who's - I think its time I put them away. That being said, I do think there is still a place for calling people or churches or society on stuff but I think first we must get to know the ones we are calling because we might just be judging the same ones God is using. And wouldn't that be shameful.

John