my late generosity

OK, so I'm late for the gridblog. Very poor blogmanship, I know. I have nothing profound to offer, but in the little bit of soul searching I've managed in the past couple of days I realized something that I'm not proud of. It's easy to think you're a generous person when A) you're married to someone who is generous and does the giving for you *ouch* or B) a few non profits get your monthly contribution that you only remember when you see it on your bank statement *ouch again* or C) you often think of ways to help others.... but neglect to act on those moments. It will occur to me that a friend could use a day off, maybe I should take her kids, or a neighbour just moved here from India, I'm sure there's alot of needs there. Just look at big generous me with all my generous thoughts. But then, and here's my really good excuse, I get distracted. With life, I guess. I am, by nature, a scatter brain. Thoughts buzz in and out and I try to focus on the important ones. I know I'm not incapable of remembering the things that matter to me. The excuse would be viable if I was also forgetting dinner out, or the kids swimming lessons, or my Monday night class. But those things stay remembered, as my thoughts of others are often forgotten.

We've been the greatful recipients of so much giving and nothing's made us feel more loved. And the times when I've had the fortitude to act on my thoughts of giving to someone else- I've felt the same way. So, you would think that it would be a little more prevalent in my life.

Blair wanted practical suggestions. Again, I have nothing new to add to what's already been said, but I know what I need to do in my own life. I need to let thoughts of giving actually sink in before my mind goes to the next thing. I need to let my own life take second stage now and then. I need to be present in the lives of others, whether it's someone at the homeless shelter, someone in Africa I will never meet or a good friend. I can blame my forgetfulness on being a scatter brain, but I think it's clear that when I am ungenerous it's because my mind is too busy being consumed with itself.

And on that chipper note... :-)

Ang