So I'm preaching this Sunday on Predestination. The church only lets me preach 3-4 times a year so I think I'll swing for the fences on this one - go Predestination! Yikes. For those of you who don't know me but have fallen in love with my side profile, I'm a youth pastor by trade, but once and a while I'm allowed to come up from the basement and frolic with post pubescent people. The truth is, I kinda like this preaching thing. A lot. Back when I was a present pubescent person I loved preaching - a little too much, I was convinced it was all about me. "John, the one man show, out to inspire people to love him and of course God." My hope going into Sunday is that I've grown up since then. As I think about Sunday, on one hand I can barely contain my excitement but on the other hand I am anxious that will be the only thing that comes across. "That John sure loves preach. Nice pop blade." (Thanks Eric, I really do love that phrase) As great as that may feel for me, I'm not so sure that's what God's dying to bless. I'm thinking he'd rather get the attention. He'd rather be noticed. Be loved. Be listened to. Be talked about on the ride home. And therein lies the rub. I sorta feel like my role as preacher guy is to get people to notice me so I can in turn get them to notice God. The problem is; I enjoy being noticed and people may or may not enjoy what they are noticing and God is forgotten about and nobody notices. Not even me. They heard from The John, maybe even had a few laughs but 18 minutes later they are getting into their car the same God forsaken self consumed juvenille they were when they first came in. How can that be? They sang the songs, they prayed the prayers, they consumed the stale bread they even closed their eyes and pictured the blood, the nails and lunch, hmm what's for lunch. They were even entertained by the sermon. Still, as they walk away they walk out the same God forsaken way they walked in. The preacher notices and it hurts, oooo how it hurts. Not only did they reject the things of God - THEY REJECTED ME. If only they knew how long I spent downloading that "perfect" clip from You Tube illustrating how hip I am, they'd be changed.
Or perhaps they're still the same because as great as John, or Jason, or Steve or Allen or Kelly or any other preacher may be none of them can touch their broken heart, shattered spirit, mixed up mind or selfish lifestyle. Perhaps God forsaken people need God after all. Not laughs. Not entertainment. Not another Matt Redman song dipped in sugary carmel glaze. They needed God but got John and stale bread instead. The carmel made it bearable but even that was a momentary high at best.
Perhaps You Tube, Carmel and Ego-Centric Preaching is a thing of the past.
I guess this post is more for me then you. I desperatly want people to notice God this Sunday but I desperatly want them to notice me too. I hate that. But it is what it is. . .my confession.
John. P.P.P.
P.S. Please pray that my God forsaken sermon is not.
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5 comments:
word, John..
i can relate man. i have finally had to suck it up and start saying 'no' whenever possible when people ask me to lead public prayers, even, because i just can't go up there and pray and just pray. i just think the whole time about my wording and how spiritual i sound and all that junk. not that you should say no to preaching or anything. for what its worth, i haven't heard you preach much, but when i did, i thought you were funny (ok, funny-ish) AND, it made me think a lot about Jesus. but then, maybe telling you something good like that will only make things worse.
but hey, what can i say, i'm a good guy, i SHOULD be noticed. espcially by cute christian babes.
I'm the same when it comes to singing on Praise Team. I wonder if people think I'm singing well and how many compliments, if any, I may get that Sunday.
It's human nature...we are a self-absorbed breed.
You'll do great on Sunday. And even if one person hears God preaching, not you, then you've made a difference.
Just don't let it go to your head :o)
I expect all "public" people should think through stuff like this. The good news is that our motives don't have to perfect or figured out in order for God to do His thing. We're all a casserole of motives. You're a great messenger, you're funny and entertaining and that's a very good thing! I really enjoy your speaking and your personality and your words teach me about God. Be yourself - say it your way and then let it go - God will do His thing - whatever that might be...
so...how'd it go?
Stacey
number a)jason is really a terrible preacher anyway
number b)jk
number c)i totally feel you man. not in a prevert kind of way either. i know i haven't had as much experience as you, but i got that way. i gave my testimony and even made people cry...(that is a sure sign you are great!)i got pretty high and mighty, and the words didn't flow so easily the next time, or the next, and so here i am 3 years later having chickened out of any kind of speaking opportunity i've been given since then. i like what steve said. God can use you whatver the motives. much love my friend.
from
blairest
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